How do i sort out finances?

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by joyportsmouth, Mar 29, 2007.

  1. joyportsmouth

    joyportsmouth Registered User

    Mar 26, 2007
    I was just wondering if anyone has come across any of these problems.Im not really sure were i stand.
    1 Mum lived in sheltred accomadation,paid for buy the council,she received a pension and attendance allowance each week---£240.00
    2 She has no assests,no savings apart from £400.00 i found in her flat .
    I phoned the council to tell them she was going in care and would be giving up the flat,that was fine,i then asked if she owed any money {she only had to pay x amount each fortnight to cover her heating} but they said they couldnt tell me that its confedential,shell have to ring them.!!!!!!!!!!! out of the question.
    3 Im resposable for removing all unwanted items,meaning ive had to pay to have the bed, sette, freezer ,ect removed.I did use some of her money i found but felt guilty about that as thats all she has.
    4 She seems to have over the last couple of years got a couple of credit cards ,ive phoned them and explained ,but they said well well have to come to some arrangement to pay it of.
    5 She also had a loan from what i would call a loan shark,borrow 500.00,pay back £1000.00 and this bloke has been round my house a few times now asking what home shes in {not going to tell him} and asking how much she can afford to give him each week.
    6 Her phone andtv were with NTL {vigin}and when i phoned them they said if i authorised the phone to be disconnected then im responsiable for the bill.Its only £90.
    I dont know what im supposed to do,They said she gets 19.10 a week now,how am i meant to pay all these out of that.I thought i was doing the right thing by telling all these people,seems not.
    Has anyone else been in a similar situation.
  2. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    Oh dear, you poor thing.

    I would strongly suggest getting in touch with the Citizen's Advice Bureau. You're going to need very specific legal advice about these things and they are the best people to help you.

    I realise you've already done it, but if I were you I would have left the council to deal with cleaning out the flat: she may be your mother but no one can force you to pay to have things done for her. Ditto with the phone and the loan shark. However, get to the CAB as quickly as possible. You may need to apply for recievership if your mother does not have an enduring power of attorney: although there is normally a fee, they also have an option if the donor (your mother) does not have the money to pay that fee.

  3. joyportsmouth

    joyportsmouth Registered User

    Mar 26, 2007
    Yes the warden mentioned the CAB,think i will ring in the morning see if i can get an appointment.
    Thanks again
  4. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    near London
    Yes, i agree with Jennifer.

    You might also call the Alzheimer's Society Help Line tomorow morning to get second opinion on it:

    The helpline is open from 8.30am to 6.30pm Monday to Friday.

    The number to dial is 0845 300 0336

    Good to check out the credit card side especially with CAB and AS - I don't believe that anyone other than your Mum has responsibility there. Besides the credit card company of course - should they have issued the card in the first place..? I'd be considering that a credit card company might not relish newspaper headlines like "Credit card company hounds person with dementia" - Daily Mail would love that one for a start!
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Hi Joy

    I've no advice for you -- Brucie and Jennifer have already given you excellent advice.

    I just want to send you love and hugs. You don't need this sort of problem when you're worried about your mum.

    I hope you get some help tomorrow.

  6. joyportsmouth

    joyportsmouth Registered User

    Mar 26, 2007
    Thanks for all your advice.
    We have a community police officer at our local shops and went to see her,mainly concerning the loan shark as he came to my house and she said they could go and see him and tell him not to bother me but its basicly a civil matter.She did say though that if it came to it then i should let him take it to court,as she only got the loan in october and obviously had VD then so didnt no what she was doing. {as you mentioned Bruce concerning credit cards}!!!!!!
  7. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    Well done Joy,
    Now today see if you can get that appointment with CAB.
    Let us know how you get on.
    Love Helen
  8. lou lou

    lou lou Registered User

    Nov 9, 2005
    Of course if your mother qualified for NHS continuing care then the local Social services would be acting illegally in taking most of your mum's pension as a contribution to her care home costs. She will lose her attendance allwance in any event so they can't take that into account in assessing her contribution.

    When my mum went from hospital to the nursing home I dutifully filled in all the financial assessment forms etc but had I been clued up at the time I would have insisted that she be assessed against the Health criteria for NHS continuing care. I might still if I could muster the energy.

    As my mother has a whole load of medical problems as well as her dementia she would in the past have been placed in a long stay hospital rather than a nursing home.

    As your mothers move is fairly recent it might be worth exploring the issue of NHS continuing care. It's clear that it is still not a transparent process and patients and carers are not informed of their rights and usually we are too stressed when things are happening so quickly to fight the beurocracy and insist that ALL relevant assessments are carried out.

    You are not legally responsible for your mothers debt's although you clearly would wish to protect her from any further distress. When my mum had to move out of her council flat they had a clearing team which removed (for free) anything left behind in the flat in the same way as they would if an old person who had no close relatives were to leave suddenly for whatever reason. I just went through her papers and photgraphs and took some small items of furniture, removed her electric bed and chair to her care home, took quite a lot of stuff to the charity shop and walked away and shut the door.

    It still makes me weep to think how 45 years of living in that house could be reduced to a few cardboard boxes.

    My dilemma is that the care home have never billed me for mum's contribution to her care home costs so her pension is still piling up in her old account. I took a week off last week to try and set up a new bank account for mum and sent copies of the EPA to the DWP and the post office but it is so draining and time consuming and you don't want to be doing it anyway.

    I used to pay for Sky TV for my mum by direct debit from my own account. When I cancelled the direct debit they insisted she still pay the next three months rental so I wrote to them and explained mum's situation talked to a very understanding lady on the phone and the next thing was they sent a letter saying the bailiffs were coming in and the original bill for 30 something pounds was now nearly £200. Well by this time I was hopping mad and if they thought they could get my dementing, incontinent, immobile mum into court to pay a hugely inflated bill out of her non existent resources they were welcome to try. So I ignored any further correspondence and haven't heard from them in nearly two years. It is unfortunate that the loan shark knows where you live as they don't give up easily but they cannot take action against you to pay your mothers debts.

    Stay strong and do what you can but please don't make yourself ill with all the stress, believe me I know how it can get you down. Coming on TP every now and then for a little whinge really does help.

    Kind regards to all

    Lou Lou
  9. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Hi Joy and Lou lou

    Regarding the loan shark and bailiffs, I had a similar experience a few years ago. I was informed I owed a company money which I knew I didn't owe.

    I received several letters a week threatening bailiffs and court procedings, with the alleged debt doubling every time, it seemed. I acknowledged every letter and just repeated that I didn't owe the money.

    Then I read a reply to a letter in newspaper about a similar scenario. It recommended writing to the company saying 'It is illegal to harass anyone with a view to causing alarm and distress'. I did this, and invited them to take me to court and I would countersue.

    It worked, and I heard no more from them.

    Joy, you could try this on your loan shark.

    Good luck,
  10. joyportsmouth

    joyportsmouth Registered User

    Mar 26, 2007
    Sorry i may have worded something wrong in one of my previous posts,the NHS are paying for mums care,she had nothing to sell to be honest.Ive been in touch with the DWP and though theyve been quite good i dont think theyve stopped her pension yet,but i havent checked as they said 3 weeks ago they were going to write to me but still not heard anything.Im not contacting the phone company again anyway,i didnt give them my name/address so theyve no way of contacting me,same goes for the credit card companys.
    Its not actully my debt with the debt collecto it is my mums but he is a slimy horriable man and the only reason he knows where i live is because my dad died in january and he had LOADS of debts including this slimy man.

    Ive spent 10 weeks sorting other peoples pesonal belongings,financial affairs,unwanted furniture,rehomed 4 dogs,2 cats and arranged 1 funeral and i am exhausted.And with thees finances of my mums still lingering it doesnt seem like its going to end.Mum actully owed 250.00 to provident and they wrote it of on compassionate grounds so why the others cant i dont no.

    Thanks for all you BRILLIANT advice,so nice to have someone to talk to about it.

    CAB appointment is in 2 weeks -earliest avaliable
  11. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Hi Joy

    I'm not surprised you're exhausted. You've done well to have got this far. It must have been so hard for you, when you've just lost your dad.

    It's a pity you can't get a CAB appointment for two weeks, you could have done to get advice sooner. Did you tell them that you are available for a cancellation?

    I did realise that the debt is your mum's, but all the more reason for the loan shark to stop hassling you. I still think it would be worth threatening him with court.

    I do hope you get things sorted soon -- let us know.
  12. Michael E

    Michael E Registered User

    Apr 14, 2005
    Ronda Spain
    Joy, I think the whole thing actually has nothing to do with you at all. It is a problem for the council department that put her into care.

    I would write a letter and duplicate it out saying your mother has gone into care and all correspondence should be addressed to the 'Portsmouth? council social security department or whatever the office is that put her into care.

    In no way are responsible for paying your mums debts or bills or anything else. Everybody would like you to be cos its easier for them, but the fact of the matter is, that your mum is an old lady that has been taken into care.

    Just run off a few copies and send the letter out with every demand anybody makes to you.... State at the end that all harassment of yourself must stop immediately or you will take legal action. You are not in any way responsible for your mothers affairs... Send a copy to the department that has put her into care as well.

    Should work...It is not your problem.

  13. joyportsmouth

    joyportsmouth Registered User

    Mar 26, 2007
    Thank you
    Thats a good idear Michael,think that is what i will do now and social services can handle that side of things.
    I have to hand the keys back to the council tomorrow,that will seem strange,mum lived there for 14 years will seem funny not going in there anymore.
    Havent cleared everything out though,had a look in the shed shes got and it was packed,with old furniture ect,so am just going to deny even knowing she had a shed.
    Anyway thanks again for all your advice and support------greatly appreciated.


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