Hello, I’m totally new to here and will try not to waffle too much!! 😬
I believe my mother has dementia which has been progressively getting worse over the last 4 years. Think ive been in denial. Started the memory test about a month ago but no appointments yet. She has refused any assessments or help other than me or my 3 children (in their early 20s) for years saying it’s just old age. Hates anything to do with mental health. She has been housebound, not showering (last shower 3 months ago 😱) or letting me help, doesn’t eat much except porridge and breakfast bars, forgets conversations and is on a loop, cant remember much now. Lives by herself. Upstair bathroom, has stairlift but cant remember how to use it, has toileting accidents and due to refusing to get dressed (nightie only) and wont wear pants it gets messy!! 😭
14 days ago she was admitted to hospital with low haemoglobin levels, then got covid and chest infection. Since then been medically discharged but deemed incapable of caring for herself by the OT. Waiting for more advice but communication is atrocious there.
Have friends advising she needs to be in carehome and OT said maybe try more care at home. Looking at her in hospital i cant see her being by herself again as she has bad delirium now. Waiting for hospital to contact me with social services etc.
How do i make these decisions?
She didnt want to go into care before hospital but now telling staff she can't live alone. Not sure shes really capable of making these decisions as doesn’t realise shes not clean, smells, not eaten etc!
She has savings so wouldn't get care free but only enough for maybe 3 years of care. Shes only 76 and no idea how long she will be with us for.
Feel very overwhelmed, sole carer, divorced, my mental health is poor, and given up jobs to care for her (now work in a mundane shop for 2 days a week and don't really cover my own bills!)
Has anyone else been in this sitatuon, WHAT DO I DO?!!!
I believe my mother has dementia which has been progressively getting worse over the last 4 years. Think ive been in denial. Started the memory test about a month ago but no appointments yet. She has refused any assessments or help other than me or my 3 children (in their early 20s) for years saying it’s just old age. Hates anything to do with mental health. She has been housebound, not showering (last shower 3 months ago 😱) or letting me help, doesn’t eat much except porridge and breakfast bars, forgets conversations and is on a loop, cant remember much now. Lives by herself. Upstair bathroom, has stairlift but cant remember how to use it, has toileting accidents and due to refusing to get dressed (nightie only) and wont wear pants it gets messy!! 😭
14 days ago she was admitted to hospital with low haemoglobin levels, then got covid and chest infection. Since then been medically discharged but deemed incapable of caring for herself by the OT. Waiting for more advice but communication is atrocious there.
Have friends advising she needs to be in carehome and OT said maybe try more care at home. Looking at her in hospital i cant see her being by herself again as she has bad delirium now. Waiting for hospital to contact me with social services etc.
How do i make these decisions?
She didnt want to go into care before hospital but now telling staff she can't live alone. Not sure shes really capable of making these decisions as doesn’t realise shes not clean, smells, not eaten etc!
She has savings so wouldn't get care free but only enough for maybe 3 years of care. Shes only 76 and no idea how long she will be with us for.
Feel very overwhelmed, sole carer, divorced, my mental health is poor, and given up jobs to care for her (now work in a mundane shop for 2 days a week and don't really cover my own bills!)
Has anyone else been in this sitatuon, WHAT DO I DO?!!!
