1. gozogirl60

    gozogirl60 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2015
    3
    I'm struggling with perhaps not anger; frustration! My Mother is in a period of not knowing what she wants to do; she gets up then wants to go back to bed. She goes to the toilet endlessly. She calls for me every few minutes then doesn't know why. And I get cross with her, then berate myself for being cross. Has anyone got any coping strategies. Unfortunately, my Dad is in hospital too with pneumonia and not expected to make it, so I have that to cope with. I took on the role as a full-time carer but I'm struggling.
    Thank you.
     
  2. Mrsbusy

    Mrsbusy Registered User

    Aug 15, 2015
    356
    #2 Mrsbusy, Aug 29, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2015
    Hi, it's no wonder you are struggling,mane I send you a hug and shoulder to cry on. This disease is bl**dy horrid to the sufferer, carer and family. Also sorry to hear about your Dad.

    Your mum is probably over anxious too without realising it because of your Dad so that adds to her confusion. Maybe when she gets up she forgets about how and where he is and then once she has come round a bit more reality if a sort kicks in and she realises the situation so wants to return to her bed to escape reality of situation. This may not be the case as I know that it's not unusual for dementia suffers yo sleep most of the day too. Is she depressed, could she see GP about medication maybe?

    Don't feel bad about getting angry with your mum, you are allowed to be, but try to find a few minutes even just to sit with a cup of tea in the garden maybe just to clear your head before starting again. Have you a neighbour who could sit with her whilst you go out for food etc. have you contacted local volunteer groups like hospice at home who can send somebody round to befriend mum whilst you pop out, even just to a coffee shop for half an hour maybe or pop in to see your Dad.

    Have you been in touch with social services for help? Asked about an assessment for you and your Mum this would help to sort out day care or day centre maybe for her.

    I feel angry too, as I feel like I'm hitting head on wall and carrying everyone on my shoulders so know just what you mean, as do most people on here but this forum helps no end, so keep posting and keep fighting and keep feeling angry but channel it into getting something done to help all of you. Be kind to yourself you are one person who has a lot on her plate.
     

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