How can i persuade my carer Dad to get some support?

[Dolly67]

Hello there. I'm joining TP wondering if anyone has any advice as to how to persuade my Dad to get some carer's support? He looks after my Mum, who has Alzheimer's. They recently moved to be close to me and my family, which is great, but my Dad does struggle and he won't engage with any of the possible support networks. I have tried to persuade him to go on an Alz soc carers course running locally, but he won't. "No dear" he said today - "i'm alright". I tried to explain how painful it is watching them struggle but then i feel bad for doing that - it's not me who has to look after Mum 24/7 after all...

So, if anyone has any tips on how to lure a cagey man in his late 70s into some carers support initiative i'd be v grateful! I just feel it would be better for him to be aware of support now rather than later, when there is a crisis. BTW My Mum receives no support but hates to be reminded of her Alzherimer's so we avoid anything that might remind her - it just upsets her and then she gets cross with my Dad. Poor Dad eh!
Very best, Dolly

 

[Lynn b]

Ihave the same problem but had a breakthrough via the admiral nurses via alzheimers society, a nurse visited him twice and by the second time he agreed to consider day care, taje baby steps with him and often an outsider will have more power, next move is to get him some help ua support group, there has got to be people like our dads out there desperate for a friend and understanding ear, i am going to a support group on my own to hopefully be able to influence too, at their age they just worry about having to ve sociable too dont they

 

[Dolly67]

Thanks Lyn. He has said he will go and talk to the doctor about my Mum so hopefully she will talk to him about getting support for himself. Sorry to read about your family - it is hard isn't it? and terrible when you feel they are suffering…
best and all,
Dolly

 

[Lynn b]

Ah thats a good start, professionals can be a bit more assertive than those closevto him. Get social services to do an asessment on them birh, i am still waiting for this but when it does mum will get daycare which will give them both time out, can you go with him to dr? I only say this cos my dad would need someone with him otherwise he would poo poo it all, just try and get him to think that with alzheimers he will have to let strangers help eventually as you cant do it all, keep in touch, you are exactly in the same boat as me, but just a couple of months behind