How can I deal with hurtful comments

[EvieD]

I would like some advice on how to deal with my husband when he “flips out” and starts saying hurtful things about myself or other people. I cannot seem to just smile and say ok. I try saying I don’t want this conversation and walk away but that just fires him up even more.
I cannot just sit there and hear him tell blatant untruths about people who are dear friends. I feel I must jump to their defence.
can somebody please help me deal with these situations which can crop up several times a day

 

[jennifer1967]

I would like some advice on how to deal with my husband when he “flips out” and starts saying hurtful things about myself or other people. I cannot seem to just smile and say ok. I try saying I don’t want this conversation and walk away but that just fires him up even more.
I cannot just sit there and hear him tell blatant untruths about people who are dear friends. I feel I must jump to their defence.
can somebody please help me deal with these situations which can crop up several times a day

i wouldnt defend them or argue with him. all he will do to step up the tirade. you know the truth about your friends. his reality is different to yours and no amount of you correcting him will alter that.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @EvieD and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. As @jennifer1967 has said no amount of arguing will convince your husband that he is wrong as he totally believes what he is saying. It can be hard to listen to and it is not easy but you have to learn how to ignore the tirades.

 

[backin]

Oh, is that the doorbell?

Is that the phone.

Oh I'm up now, fancy a cuppa?

 

[Normsky]

I would like some advice on how to deal with my husband when he “flips out” and starts saying hurtful things about myself or other people. I cannot seem to just smile and say ok. I try saying I don’t want this conversation and walk away but that just fires him up even more.
I cannot just sit there and hear him tell blatant untruths about people who are dear friends. I feel I must jump to their defence.
can somebody please help me deal with these situations which can crop up several times a day

I don't have any advice other than to deflect or walk away if you can but my sympathies are with you completely. I'm experiencing the same thing and am somewhat comforted to know I'm not the only one! Over the 25 years I have known him he has had fallings out with people and is critical of others. And this is despite being a highly sociable Gemini who has been an extremely involved cycling club member who has invested huge amounts of his time to build a social and cohesive club. I find it hard to tolerate. We are none of us without flaw.

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome to the forum @Normsky

 

[maggie6445]

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. My mum ,a a lifelong church goer and very very meek started saying the most awful untruths about fellow churchgoers. She upset several friends. . Dad made an apology from the pulpit explaining her dementia. It didn't really mend the friendships but there was an understanding.
Mum didn't go to church much after that .
Dr tried meds but they didn't really help and mum came off them.
All I can say is the stage for mum did pass but it was awful while it lasted.
Sending you best wishes 😘