1. muriel67

    muriel67 Registered User

    Apr 10, 2014
    hi people, I have vascular dementia at the age of 58 its something my mom had so I recognised the things that were happening to me.i went to stay at my daughters house last week whilst she went on holiday.i was to keep an eye on my lovely grandson..hes 18 but any excuse to spend some time with him is always a good one.anyway all seemed to go ok.then I had a phone call from my daughter when she came home .she couldn't find her I pad or her tv remote and her soap dish was missing.turns out I had put them all in the oven.dont know why but we had a laugh about it.good job I didn't turn it on.then she wanted to know what I had done to the dog.its a cocker spaniel and was needing a hair cut.i can honestly say I don't know why I did it or when but it doesn't look too bad.its goin in kennels next time I stop.i don't know why im writing this but I just feel a bit alone because I don't know anyone else with this and its strange to do these things and remember nothing about them at all.:confused::confused::confused::confused:
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    I had to smile about the dog Muriel! Good job your grandson didn't need haircut!:D

    I'm sorry you feel alone but I'm sure you'll find company on Talking Point. I know there are other members who also have vascular dementia. I'm sure they'll share their experiences with you.

    Take care.
  3. muriel67

    muriel67 Registered User

    Apr 10, 2014
    hi Izzy,it made me laugh when I read your comment about my grandson.until 2 weeks ago he had hair down to his shoulders. I could imagine me creeping into his bedroom in the middle of the night to give him a hair cut.:D:D.i have a question for others with dementia,i use a bus pass when I go out.many times I have taken this out of my purse to pay for goods in the shops and when the shop assistant tells me I cant .I look at my pass but it wont register that its not my bank card .or I get on the bus and try to pay with my bank card .when the driver tells me I cant I look at my card but I see my bus pass and get of the bus and walk home.at the moment I am without my glasses yet again ,I left them somewhere at my daughters but no one can find them.i have two pairs lost down the black hole now.has anyone else had these episodes
  4. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    Muriel all I can say is SNAP! I have given the bus driver my bank card and the swimming pool my travel card. I don't have dementia but I am a very busy carer with a wallet full of cards of all types, store cards, bank cards, coffee shop cards you name it.

    You're doing fine. Having awareness of your illness will help you to avoid certain traps so don't worry too much.
  5. muriel67

    muriel67 Registered User

    Apr 10, 2014
    hi marion q,i don't think I am explaining what I mean very well.at the time I give the people my wrong card I look at it when they say its the wrong one and all I can see is the card I think it is not the card it actually is.it has happened several times when I have been with someone and we have got very frustrated because I cannot make it register.
  6. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    West Midlands
    I've been thinking about this post all day. Trying very unsuccessfully to come up with ideas to help. I just find it so fascinating how the brain can work

    The only thing I could think of is a sticker on the bus pass, maybe help distinguish the cards.... but no doubt if your brain is telling you that your credit card is the bus pass the fact the bus pass has a sticker on.... it's unlikely to help is it ?

    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  7. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    #7 jeany123, Jun 4, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2015
    I don't know if this will help but I have my bus pass in a separate little wallet like this one,

    and my debit card in my purse, would keeping them separate make any difference?

    You don't need to take it out of the case to show the driver or scan it,
  8. Jessbow

    Jessbow Registered User

    Could you put the bus pass on a cord around your neck, ready to wave at the bus driver without having to get your purse out? Or attached to a belt loop
    or something?

    if you only had one card in your purse- the card with which to pay, would your mind stay clearer perhaps?
  9. muriel67

    muriel67 Registered User

    Apr 10, 2014
    hi everyone thankyou for your suggestions I shall try them and let you know how I get on .I hadn't thought of keeping them separate,i knew someone on here would have some answers and you are all so friendly and don't judge,i am finding that as I am having to tell more people whats wrong with me its not easy knowing the reaction im going to get,they range from oooh you poor thing (well I don't think I am thankyou very much) to well your not right in the head are you( my brother in law ) .I see it this way.as long as I can carry on living independently and safely and not be a worry to my family then I will carry on till the next episode.at the moment we just say ere we go again and have a laugh about the daft things I say and do.but I do know that wont last forever,i want to dance in the sunshine for as long as possible.:D:D:D
  10. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    The important bit Muriel is to keep dancing. Rain or sunshine you just keep dancing.:)

    Seperate from your other cards is a great idea. It maybe better to have it attached to your handbag so that it is always with you. You could have a cord on it long enough for it to reach the scanner or to show the bus driver but it would stop it being dropped and lost or put into a coat pocket and forgotten where it is. Perhaps a sticker inside the purse where your bank card is saying bus pass attached to bag.

    You and your family are doing great, smiling about the odd goings on is wonderful.

    We found telling people that my husband had dementia made life easier, they understood why from time to time he was acting a little odd or out of character and like your family let it pass with a smile. Just ignore the few who think the information given warrants an insensitive reply, just shows a complete lack of knowledge and no understanding.

    Glad you are using the forum and I'm sure you will settle in very quickly,

    Take care.
  11. Bassetlaw Badge

    Bassetlaw Badge Registered User

    Oct 30, 2012
    Muriel, loving this thread and liking our TP friends' suggestions - so much of what you are saying rings true to our situation (dad has vascular dementia).

    I have no other advice to offer, just remember that we're here for the times when the outside world doesn't seem to know what it's like. TP is my salvation sometimes.
  12. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    Hi Muriel!

    I found a site where you can personalise card holders! It's here: http://ownster.co.uk/our-products/

    I had a little go and it's easy to upload a picture onto the outside of the card holder so you will know which card is which - here's one I prepared earlier!

    Attached Files:

  13. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    Oh and I went round Mum and Dad's to do their dinner last week. Turned the oven on and waited for the temperature to get hot enough for their casserole, after a few minutes there was a weird smell.... opened the door and looked inside to see a saucer of cat food sizzling away! :eek: So it's pretty common!
  14. starryuk

    starryuk Registered User

    Nov 8, 2012
    Keeping them separate sound a good idea.

    The brain is so complex, isn't it. Many, many years ago, I remember going to a new dentist and, being so stressed, I couldn't think of my address and gave the receptionist an old one from years before. It only came to light on my second visit.

    And I often don't see something I have 'lost' in my handbag and which I desperately need, even when I know it must be there. I just don't see it. I always ask someone else to look for me!

    So, put your bus pass round your neck, so you don't have to look for it or worry. I hope it helps.
  15. muriel67

    muriel67 Registered User

    Apr 10, 2014
    Hi Suzanna, Thankyou for your suggestion ,my problem is I cannot make my brain recognise the card in my hand when im having an episode.I have my bus pass and bank cards wich look very different but to me whichever card is in my hand is the card I see.I have tried having them in different places but I lose them if I don't keep to routine,its all very strange my doc says its dissasociative behaviour to do with dementia.Most of the time I don't have that problem but its a big one when it occurs.

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