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Hospital not helping us talk to mum!

Metalpetal

Registered User
May 10, 2020
113
As you might have seen, mum’s been in hospital for 5 weeks now and they recently confirmed Alzheimer’s. We obviously can’t visit her in person, so the hospital have proudly announced the fact that a FaceTime service is available any time relatives want to chat with their loved ones. Well, that’s the theory anyway.

Although over the last few weeks this has worked fairly well, my brother and I have been trying to talk to mum since Tuesday with no luck at all. There’s been absolutely no response from the messaging account that we use to request our chats. (The process is to send a request with a time we’d like to chat, and they then call us at that time and have the ipad in front of mum ready to see us). I even called them on Wednesday and spoke to a staff nurse who confirmed the girl who monitors the ipad WAS around, and said he’d chivvy her up to sort a call with us. Nothing. My brother tried again yesterday - sending messages with no response, and tried calling the ward but the line was constantly engaged.

Poor mum! I can’t help but worry that she was told on Tuesday that she has Alzheimer’s and hasn’t spoken to us since - she might be thinking we’ve rejected her! The only small comfort is that when we DO speak she doesn’t tend to remember specifics about when we last spoke, so perhaps she’s not actually too aware of the time that’s passed since our last chat? Probably the only good thing about her lack of lucidity!

In the meantime, I posted her a book I thought she’d enjoy, which arrived on Wednesday. And today I sent her a card via ‘Thortful’ with a message to say we’ve been trying to speak to her but have had some issues getting through, but that we wanted to let her know we’re thinking of her lots. That should arrive tomorrow/Monday hopefully.

No advice requests this time, I’m just venting ;-)
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
306
That must be so difficult @Metalpetal
My mum fell and was in hospital for 3 weeks, the hospital didn't have a phone they could take to mum so she could at least hear my voice.
Like you, I wrote cards and sent things in , which I hope she enjoyed.
It's such a worrying time, not being able to visit.
I'd just keep trying to get through to the ward , very frustrating when it's constantly engaged,
If you do get through explain to them how it's so important you can FaceTime your mum to relay her anxiety. I'd email/write to the ward too as they should be maintaining contact for you as a priority.
Hope you get it sorted.
 

Metalpetal

Registered User
May 10, 2020
113
Thanks @anxious annie and @Bunpoots :) My brother got a cheap PAYG phone and dropped it off to mum earlier today. He’s already had a call from her... and she’s delighted to have some contact again! He said she got very tired after only 10 minutes though, so I’ll give it an hour or so before I give her a bell. Or perhaps just send her a quick text in the meantime :)
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,522
Glad you're back in contact again. Lets hope she hangs on to this phone.
 

MrsV

Registered User
Apr 16, 2018
169
Northamptonshire
Glad you got to speak to her again. My Mum was accepted into a CH as an emergency end of March, as they are in lockdown we haven't seen or heard from her. Mum doesn't understand the phone anymore, and when we ring and they hand over the phone she doesn't say anything, mutters to herself and walks away. So we've no idea how she is. When we've asked they say she's fine and well, just not a good day for her today, try later in the week. We dont know what stage Mum is at, just totally confused and agitated all the time, angry and wants to go home. She doesn't recognize us, or our voices, or makes any attempt to talk. They've upped her meds for the agitation and wandering. But there doesn't seem to be much of mum left with this horrible disease :(
 

Metalpetal

Registered User
May 10, 2020
113
Glad you got to speak to her again. My Mum was accepted into a CH as an emergency end of March, as they are in lockdown we haven't seen or heard from her. Mum doesn't understand the phone anymore, and when we ring and they hand over the phone she doesn't say anything, mutters to herself and walks away. So we've no idea how she is. When we've asked they say she's fine and well, just not a good day for her today, try later in the week. We dont know what stage Mum is at, just totally confused and agitated all the time, angry and wants to go home. She doesn't recognize us, or our voices, or makes any attempt to talk. They've upped her meds for the agitation and wandering. But there doesn't seem to be much of mum left with this horrible disease :(
Oh gosh, MrsV, such a worrying time for you :-( It’s so frustrating when you don’t get ‘proper’ updates isn’t it? At least you know your mum is safe and being cared for - that’s the only thing we’ve been able to hang on to really. Since mum got poorly on Monday we’ve not spoken to her until last night and it was 4 days of very occasional calls with (understandably) busy medical staff who couldn’t really tell us much, or talk for long.
It must be so awful when the PWD gets to the stage where they don’t recognise your voice etc anymore... I look ahead and do worry about that with mum. I really hope you get to have a proper update soon, and perhaps when things ease a bit covid-wise, you’ll at least be able to visit with her from a distance. Take care...