Horrible panel deputy pressurising me to approve him applying for statutory will

[gentle animal lover]

I hope some one can advise!

I care for my incapacitated Mum, and as me & my sister disagreed about her future and finances, a horrible deputy was appointed.

I am passed from pillar to post by his team, and the case is always moving from person to person. They now charge for a solicitor in his team to check shopping receipts! I get nothing for the many hours I put in caring/coordinating care, or the many miles I drive. They didn't repair drains in a timely manner, (more than one month after they were informed), leaving effluent flowing down the street, and the household at risk of infection.

Despite prompting at first meeting in June 19, the deputy didn't apply for attendance allowance, wasting mum's money on council tax if £2300 a year.

For the second time, he recently pressurised me to permit him to apply for a statutory will, and the email smacked of emotional blackmail:

"There is one matter that I would like to return to and which I am sorry that I forgot to raise with you yesterday. You will remember that I suggested that we should consider making an application to the Court to make an amendment to your mother’s will given the tensions and fractured relationship that you have with your sister. A Statutory Will would have regard to that and a simple change could be made to it to ensure an independent Executor and Trustee is appointed rather than leaving everything to be dealt with by you and your sister as the appointed administrators. It is clear to me that it is unlikely that there will be a satisfactory resolution of the relationship between you and your sister and therefore the appointment of an independent Executor for your mother’s will would prevent a repeat of the difficulties that have arisen in the recent history.

You did say when I raised this with you previously that you would take some advice and consider it. Can you let me know your views on this.

Can you come back to me briefly on this latter point".

This to me is emotional blackmail and I want no further contact with these solicitors , who I consider to be money fleecing charlatans.

What should I do, whom should I complain to?

 

[Jessbow]

Why does what your mothers will say come into play until after her death?

Tat said, if the relationship between you and your sister is that badly damaged, perhaps its not such a bad idea to have an independent executor

 

[Alex54]

Can't you apply to appoint a different deputy to be appointed, it does not sound if they are acting in your mums best interests.

 

[Woo2]

I don’t have a relationship at all with my sister . I won’t go in to it but I took legal advice and told them I will hand it all over to them ,they told me that it will be no problem us both being executors as they will deal with us separately . Re the deputy I don’t have any advice sorry . Could you take advantage of free consultation with another solicitor ? Or give the helpline a call , have always found them to be really knowledgeable and helpful .

 

[gentle animal lover]

Thanks all, the helpline suggested I get legal help.

I don't know how easy it is to appoint another deputy, but I will complain about him so hopefully his emotional blackmailing days will be over

 

[theunknown]

I'm sorry to hear you're having these problems. I've never heard of a 'statutory will', so know nothing about that; but in my response I'll assume you're posting from the UK, and my comments are based on my own experience as a sole deputy acting for my mum for five years.

Deputyship is quite different from operating as someone who has PoA. As a deputy you have to fill in a form every year listing absolutely everything you've paid out for from the person's accounts. So I kept everything from bank account statements to receipts for amounts spent on clothing, bedding, nightwear/underwear, etc; knowing I could be asked at any time to provide evidence any money gone from my mum's account(s) was purely spent on her behalf. I could use her money to give gifts (birthdays, Christmas, etc) but needed to be able to show it was what she would spend herself if she was able to.

Unfortunately, unofficial carers aren't entitled to be reimbursed for all the work and practical things they do, and pay out for, even though they should be. I'd love to believe that in time this work will come to be recognised, but I don't hold out any hope. As a deputy I was entitled to pay myself reasonable expenses from my mum's money; as long as the money expended was about her situation and not something I'd need to have paid for otherwise. I never claimed anything back, but I was entitled to.

I reiterate the need to keep every receipt, invoice, bank statement, etc, when you're a deputy. You have to be able to account for everything going out of the account(s) involved. In the UK it's very rare for deputyship to be granted for anything other than finance and property (ie not health/medical). I'm not sure how the deputy you've had foisted upon you could have anything to do with things like faulty drains. I think they'd just be responsible for paying the bill for sorting it out, not sorting it out in the first place. However, if you're not happy with them you need to complain. It's important you feel comfortable with the situation.

If the deputy is appointed by the Office of the Public Guardian then they'd be the organisation to raise your concerns with. Checking what the money's being spent on is vital for the sake of the person who wasn't able to give consent, but the 'statutory will' thing is something I'd be worried about if an organisation was asking me to do it. Being a 'deputy' who's been legally granted the right to act on an individual's behalf (because they no longer have the cognitive capacity) means you're acting for the Court of Protection. I just can't imagine a court appointed deputy (Court of Protection) telling someone they should draw up a particular type of will. The fact this 'statutory' will has been mentioned to you is something I'd be worried about.

 

[Banjomansmate]

It sounds to me as though they are trying to make sure more financially lucrative work goes their way.

 

[gentle animal lover]

Thank you for the detailed and valuable responses.

I am indeed worried about the deputy pressurising me into allowing him to apply for this will, which would then lead to him drawing fees as the independent executor.

There was some mention of a family care payment, then them wanting instead to install a case manager to manage mum's care, despite me setting up a very complex package of care myself, and running it with no issues, (until they came along).

They micromanage me, I'm certain in order to charge more. Eg, we need latex gloves each month for the carers, but I have to request they purchase these each month, with a handling charge to boot.

I was told off for buying vitamin C which has been proven to make the antibiotic Hiprex work, (much as cranberry juice helps in cystitis), and for giving it to Mum, as I had not got the advice from the GP in writing.

I have now spoken to the OPG, and they said someone from the Supervision unit will call me back.