Holiday opportunities

[JamesR]

My Dad is caring for my mother who has had AD for 6 yrs. He has not had a holiday for 4 yrs or so...

He has said he'd like to look at breaks that perhaps he could take my mum along with him. He seems uninterested in the respite care/he holidays alone option.

I have looked at the Vitalise (ex Winged Fellowship) organisation but have not found out the dates for the Alzheimer's weeks. Has anyone got specific experience of what happens on these, the level of support, what the centres are like? The images on the website make the rooms look a bit clinical ie hospital type beds, hoists and lino on the floor - presumably because at times for more physically disabled people that sort of equipment is needed.

He is also thinking of looking at Holiday Fellowship centres which they have been to before when she was much more herself...although I am not sure how prepared they are to cope with someone with AD if she gets restless/agitated....

Has anyone in a similar situation tried holidaying in just a modest quiet B&B and just kind of coped with anything that came up ?

I'd like to help him with his choices.

 

[Rosalind]

How is your mum with being away from familiar surroundings - shopping trips, etc? My husband, who travelled for a living at one point, and simply loved going abroad to the more obscure places the better, now is really bad away from home. He does not know where he is when he wakes up, gets terribly agitated about knowing where the loo is, develops upset stomachs so he has to stay in one place near a loo. In theory he still wants to go places 'I'd love to see India again' but in practice it is hell for both of us. After our last trip - a weekend staying with a friend in Norfolk - I have called it a day. He is only really at ease at home - even staying over after going to dinner with people we have known and stayed with for years is strongly resisted, and and his comfort zone is now very restricted. I have come to the conclusion that trying to get him even to come with me to the nearest town to buy a new kettle is simply not worth trying, as he gets anxious about loos, and I get ratty and say 'you don't need to go every five minutes when you are at home' and a bad time is had by all. I think I was trying to claw back earlier times when dragging him off to Norfolk, Currys etc.

After these very gloom inducing words, maybe your mum is not like that and would enjoy going somewhere - particularly somewhere she might remember from earlier times.

But if you Dad feels he wants a break do encourage him. I get away for a week, twice a year, and it is wonderful, even if I find the first day back really grim. Men are usually bad about sorting out this sort of thing, so you might need to do a bit of organising for him - contacting a relative he could stay with, looking into short residential courses on subjects he is interested in, getting in some brochures from companies like Saga where quite a few people will be on their own. I get home care, who will come in once, or even twice a day, and friends also rally round, and getting away and having proper conversations for a week is really good.

 

[Norman]

Hi James R
the new Vitalise brochure is available now,with all dates and details
Regards
Norman
You can find them at

Original posting by Baraf
Vitalise, Shap Road industrial Estate,
Shap Road,
Kendal,
Cumbria LA9 6NZ
Telepnone 0845 345 1970
Fax 01539 735567
Web www.vitalise.org.uk

 

[JamesR]

It would be helpful if Vitalise would put this simple information on their website too. The site is full of alot of marketing speak and pretty pictures but is a bit short on basic information like this.

I will try and call them again and request a brochure..


Thanks for your advice Rosalind. I worry my Mum is nearer your husband's condition than my Dad is prepared to admit. She is in a rather perverse situation of always wanting ot go out (multiple times in the day) but when she is out often wanting to come back home again...especially after lunch or mid afternoon. When she is at home particularly in the 4pm to 7pm period she is confused as to where she is ...and thinks she needs to go home somewhere else (effectively thinking she needs to go to her parents - both of which died over 20 yrs ago). Eventually my Dad convinces her she is at home...often it can take 10 times for this to eventually sink in.

I am concerned for them on a holiday as I think she might get agitated after just say one day and want to go home...

I would prefer it if we could go down the respite care route but my Dad says he does not want it (I think he ultimately sees it as an experience of him being alone which is what he dreds about the longer term future)...I think he is clinging on to the idea they can still function in a normal environment. I think the Viatalise place is the better option for them if they have suitable support to handle things.