Hip operation

[upsanddownsdays]

Hello , my mum with Alzheimer's and mixed dementia had a fall yesterday in her carehome and has unfortunately broken her hip , waiting for a hip replacement operation .

We stayed with her until midnight but they said it'd be hours before a bed would be available. It broke my heart to leave her , but am on my own to care for her , my husband does what he can but works full time .
How do other people cope with this ? I knew she was vulnerable leaving her , but try to have faith they will understand and look after her.
Have to have some rest to be available to carry on visiting everyday .
Any advice would be appreciated, thank you xx

 

[sdmhred]

oh how difficult for you all 😢😢
I hope today she gets her op ….that will give you time to rest as she will be unable for visits for several hours.

My motto is to ‘do what I can’…..I probably do too much but in that equation doing what I can means I also include for me what I need to do to keep going eg rest, time for my hobbies etc. if I don’t do things for myself I won’t be able to carry on for my mum so it’s essential …..so at the moment I am sitting with a coffee rather than doing housework or visiting….

Maybe spend a few mins thinking what YOU need to carry on and plan the next few days around that. Eg how much sleep you need, do you need a walk, or to see a friend? Put those in and then plan your visits.

It will be hard for your mum and she will take a dip but dementia / old age/ hip ops are rubbish but we need to keep going too.

And when you are not there…try not to worry ….much easier said than done I know 🙈🙈

Much love 😘😘

 

[Sarasa]

So sorry to hear that @upsanddownsdays. I agree now is the time to get some rest, as your mum will also need to recuperate from the operation.
My mum was in hospital a couple of years ago and the hospital staff were excellent with her. Being in a different situation seemed to perk mum up for a bit too. Try not to worry too much, which I know is easier said than done.

 

[upsanddownsdays]

Thank you for your kind comments , I have another worry . When the operation is done and she's discharged do patients go back to Their carehome or a rehabilitation hospital ? As her carehome is not a nursing home , but she's happy there and the care is good .
Just thinking ahead I know that they won't be able to give her the care she needs .
I know the operation is first and I'm jumping ahead , but didn't want to end up with a panic about the next step xx

 

[Collywobbles]

Thank you for your kind comments , I have another worry . When the operation is done and she's discharged do patients go back to Their carehome or a rehabilitation hospital ? As her carehome is not a nursing home , but she's happy there and the care is good .
Just thinking ahead I know that they won't be able to give her the care she needs .
I know the operation is first and I'm jumping ahead , but didn't want to end up with a panic about the next step xx

The best thing to do might be to ask the care home what would usually happen in this situation. Sadly falls and broken hips will be something they’ve encountered before and they probaby have an established way of dealing with residents after hip operations.

Sending best wishes.

 

[upsanddownsdays]

Yes that's a good idea . Think I need to not run away with myself and take it a day at a time .
She's eaten all her lunch and drinking but is very tired . Not surprising after yesterday . It's one thing to have a broken hip but another to have it with the confusion of dementia .
She smiles at me when she wakes up bless her . Xx

 

[sdmhred]

Take a day at a time @upsanddownsdays - there’s quite a few different options and much will depend on how she does. She may be good to go straightback to her care home with district nurse support, she may go to a community hospital or they may think she needs more care….

I would just advise at this point to stay in touch with the hospital’s plans for the follow on.

Thats great she was eating and drinking well today tho!

 

[upsanddownsdays]

Yes I will follow your advice . When you are thrown in this situation it's good to be able to ask advice on here , such a lovely space to be able to talk to others .
One day at a time xx

 

[upsanddownsdays]

An update ....so mum had her hip replacement yesterday tea time . Physio starts today . The nurse said she will stay in hospital for up to 10 days . They liase with her carehome as to whether she can go back there as it's not nursing . I know there are hoists and residents are much less able than my mum was . But I'm worried if they let her walk up and down again she could fall again.
How do any others cope with these situations please ? Xx

 

[Sirena]

Hi @upsanddownsdays
My mother has had several falls in her care home (she's been there several years) the worst of which resulted in a broken hip. She had the op and was in hospital for 8 or 9 days. There was no problem at all with her going back to her dementia care home, by the time she was discharged from hospital she did not need nursing care, she just needed physical rehabbing. The care home manager wanted her back as soon as possible so she could be looked after in a familiar environment where they understood her needs.

Back at the care home she had regular physio and they rehabbed her brilliantly. I am not sure if they needed the hoist, they did use a wheelchair to begin with but when discharged from hospital she was able to stand and weight bear. They got her walking with the help of a carer, and used pressure mats so they knew if she tried to get out of her chair and they could go straight over and help her. Within four weeks she was back to walking unaided.

She did have other falls later on, but it is impossible to prevent that whatever the environment. She recovered from those too.

 

[upsanddownsdays]

Thank you so much for your positive reply . Feeling really down tonight about it all . I was with mum today when they got her to try to sit in a chair . She was so brave but really agitated . When she was sitting she was fine . I'm not sure if it's pain or the hoist or both .
Just was so distressing to hear her screaming out . Is it normal to move them on day 2 ?
Your mum sounds so strong to walk again after her operation.
I just want mum to be comfortable and not be in pain .
This illness is an endurance test for everyone, so many highs and lows .

Her carehome say they can have her there and that they have all the equipment. So hopefully she'll be strong enough to go home xx

 

[Sirena]

It's very early days, she is probably in a bit of pain when hoisted. But yes they get them into a chair, and then moving around, asap. The physios came round early on to try to get her to stand, and then use a walking aid to take a few steps. My mother was not cooperative, but that was understandable as people with dementia can find hospitals quite intimidating.

The care home manager went in to hospital during the physio round on about day 7 and with her encouragement my mother cooperated and stood up, so the hospital were happy to discharge her back to the care home shortly after that.

My mother was on a ward with other ladies with hip breaks and one of them was about a week ahead of my mother so I could see what the trajectory would be.

 

[upsanddownsdays]

I'm worried she should go to a nursing home , would the care be more specialised than a care home ?
Also in the hospital she has a bigger bed and rails either side to stop her falling out .
I'm worried as the carehome has said before they dont have the rails as they are a health hazard for residents trying to climb over . I understand that , but mum will forget about her unsteadiness and try to get to the bathroom . She has the sensors and they do come to her , but if they are busy and can't get there , mum will be out of bed .
I'm just worried about it all , getting it right .
Are you allowed hospital type of beds in carehomes ? And do others have experience of nursing homes ? Just trying to make the right decisions .

Day 3 mum was much brighter , smiling and eating by herself , drank a lot of juice with me .

Thank you for any advice xx

 

[Collywobbles]

I'm worried she should go to a nursing home , would the care be more specialised than a care home ?
Also in the hospital she has a bigger bed and rails either side to stop her falling out .
I'm worried as the carehome has said before they dont have the rails as they are a health hazard for residents trying to climb over . I understand that , but mum will forget about her unsteadiness and try to get to the bathroom . She has the sensors and they do come to her , but if they are busy and can't get there , mum will be out of bed .
I'm just worried about it all , getting it right .
Are you allowed hospital type of beds in carehomes ? And do others have experience of nursing homes ? Just trying to make the right decisions .

Day 3 mum was much brighter , smiling and eating by herself , drank a lot of juice with me .

Thank you for any advice xx

I suspect the answer is that there’s no good answer.

We had someone post here when their barely-mobile relative somehow managed to clamber over or around the bed bars during the night, and had a bad fall from the bed. There was no way to predict that someone who was barely capable of walking, could possibly have done that.

Bed bars or not, there’s probably no way to keep a determined person in bed short of sedating them every night. There will be risks with or without bed bars and each home will make its own decision about whether they use them or not. Wish it was a bit more cut and dried, but it might be better to ‘outsource’ that decision to the home. It won’t be a matter of whether you’re doing the right thing, but just being in a situation where the least worst thing is to accept their professional opinion.

 

[Jools1402]

I'm sure the care home will have thought about her safety getting out of bed- ask them. One solution - I don't know whether it will be appropriate for your Mum - is to lower the bed down to floor level

 

[upsanddownsdays]

Yes I rang the dementia UK number today for advice and you can have a low profile bed.
I got so much good advice and then by chance saw the doctor today so got all my questions answered . They are drawing up a care plan tomorrow.

Day 4 mum was sitting in a chair when we arrived . Calmer at first but got agitated when she wanted to go to the toilet.

A male nurse and a female were using the hoist and she was screaming out . Not sure if it was pain or agitation.
Think having a male nurse doesn't help for her dignity , but realise they are short staffed .

We calmed her down eventually and she was ok .
She's probably just fed up and who could blame her ? Xx