Hi

[Tanie]

Hi Everyone,
My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2021. I knew something was not right with my mum's health several years before the final diagnosis. Mum also knew there was something wrong. She suffered depression, withdrew from social interactions and found day to day tasks overwhelming. I'm joining this forum because I know many of you experience the same feelings as I do related to the 'living grief' of seeing a loved one slowly change and begin to vanish - it's painful. I also live far away from my mum which makes things difficult (I visit as often as I can, but also have children...). I have an amazing dad who tries his best to care for his wife, but he too has health issues and I know he is in emotional pain seeing his life partner begin to fade.
Anyway, 'hi'. For all you carers, you are incredible! For all those suffering with dementia, we see you and are here for you.
If anyone also is also far from their loved one with dementia, I'd love to know how you navigate the feelings of guilt being far away and the 'living grief' of a loved one who is suffering with dementia.
thanks
T

 

[Kevinl]

Nothing to say other than hello and welcome, and thank you for posting.
If nothing elses the phrase you use "living grief" is something I can relate to and something I can take away. Thank you. K

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @Tanie and welcome to Dementia Support Forum our friendly and helpful community of people who have experience of many aspects of dementia. I am sorry to hear about your situation but glad that you have joined us. The wisdom, understanding and compassion that you will find here will help you to deal with whatever the future holds.

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @Tanie.

I’m sorry to hear about your mum. It’s good that you’ve found this forum and I hope that your find some comfort from the support yu will find here. I’m sure members who live a distance from their loved ones will share their experiences with you.

I do think that ‘living grief’ sums up how many must feel. I wondered of this link from CRUSE on anticipatory grief would be of any help to you -

Anticipatory grief | Grieving Before Someone Dies

Anticipatory grief is a feeling of loss before someone dies. You might feel it if your friend or relative has dementia, cancer, or another illness which you know will lead to their death.

www.cruse.org.uk