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Arty-girl

New member
Jun 29, 2020
3
Two weeks prior to the Lockdown my mother had a fall and broke her wrist. As I was in between jobs, I moved in to see to her personal care as she had a pot on her wrist. Then Lockdown happened. The Summer job I was due to start was cancelled so I continued to stay with Mom. During that time, it's as if she has taken a swan-dive into dementia. She's late 80's and has had, what I always thought was age releated memory decline. However, over the past two months, she has started to display odd behaviour. 1) Talking to people on the TV and believing they are talking back to her. 2) Getting mixed up with time of the day, 3) Suddenly obsessed with looking through her paperwork but not putting back where it was (she was always well organised). 4) Unable to make simple decisions.

A lot of time you can have a near normal conversation with her and I think the day's going to be good, but then she talks about going to different countries (she's be abroad once in her lifetime). She thinks she is part of the TV programmes. I try to leave the TV off as much as possible and she's happy to use her colouring books.

I have told her that I think she needs to speak to the Doctor but she REALLY denies there's anything wrong. Dad died of Dementia nine years ago and she remembers this clearly. She is obviously terrified of having this herself but I can't talk to her about it and I then end up getting frustrated and angry.

When she had her fall, she did have a head scan for brain bleeds which came back clear, but the doctor said she had mild concussion. I think I'm also in some kind of denial as I keep hoping it is a result of the concussion and that it will get better.

As mum doesn't have internet, I can only check back when I nip home to see to my household things, so apologies in advance if I'm slow replying.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
62,811
69
Dundee
Hi @Arty-girl and welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry to hear about your mum. I wonder if there's a way the GP would see her for a 'well woman' type of appointment with a view to a memory yes being part of it. Perhaps you could phone and discuss that kind of possibility with them. She might also be checked for a urinary infection. UTIs can cause havoc.

I'm glad your've found DTP. I know you'll get lots of help and support here.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
578
Hello @Arty-girl . You must be very worried about your mum. You are doing a good job of looking after her. It's not easy.

I have read that concussion symptoms can last a long time, so you never know but I agree that your mum needs a check up. It's always a good idea to rule out physical causes for increased confusion first before assuming that dementia is present, and definitely wise to have a urine test done, as @Izzy suggests. The well woman ploy is a good one. If your mum isn't likely to go for that, could you say that the doctor has asked her to make a appointment to follow up on the fall? Any memory testing could be "checking the concussion".

Your mum may put on a good show during any conversation with the GP so it would be best if you could take them into your confidence beforehand (although I know this is a bit nerve wracking).
 

Arty-girl

New member
Jun 29, 2020
3
Hi @Arty-girl and welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry to hear about your mum. I wonder if there's a way the GP would see her for a 'well woman' type of appointment with a view to a memory yes being part of it. Perhaps you could phone and discuss that kind of possibility with them. She might also be checked for a urinary infection. UTIs can cause havoc.

I'm glad your've found DTP. I know you'll get lots of help and support here.
Hi @Izzy , thanks for your reply. I didn't realise UTIs can cause mental problems. I did call my mom's GP a couple of weeks ago and spoke to a very nice person (not a doctor though). She could get mom's GP to ring her but I don't want them to mention to her that I phoned as mom would go off alarming, as she has before. I also mentioned that she'd had a fall hoping that they could ring her as a 'follow up' as I assume any visits to Hospital A&E are reported back to the GP, but nothing came of that. It's very difficult when they only want to speak to people on the phone. Any time she complains of headaches or dizzyness and I suggest speaking to the doctor, she accuses me of saying she's senile. I know I'm being pretty gutless here but I'm sure it would be easier to do if she was further along and not so feisty. She's always been the strong one in our family.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
62,811
69
Dundee
@Arty-girl - this factsheet on UITs explains more -

 

Arty-girl

New member
Jun 29, 2020
3
Hello @Arty-girl . You must be very worried about your mum. You are doing a good job of looking after her. It's not easy.

I have read that concussion symptoms can last a long time, so you never know but I agree that your mum needs a check up. It's always a good idea to rule out physical causes for increased confusion first before assuming that dementia is present, and definitely wise to have a urine test done, as @Izzy suggests. The well woman ploy is a good one. If your mum isn't likely to go for that, could you say that the doctor has asked her to make a appointment to follow up on the fall? Any memory testing could be "checking the concussion".

Your mum may put on a good show during any conversation with the GP so it would be best if you could take them into your confidence beforehand (although I know this is a bit nerve wracking).
Hi @lemonbalm . I feel a complete wuss at the moment. I really need to phone them again, but I get emotional and once that happens I can't speak. I feel so pathetic, especially after reading some of the posts on here. Simply getting mom to the doctors should be a breeze compared to events so many of you have to deal with. It probably doesn't help knowing that I desperately need to find work and get earning again in order to pay my bills, which mom's helping me with for now but I want to pay her back and soon.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
578
You mustn't talk yourself down! I remember only too well what it was like looking after my mum on my own. She refused to go to medical appointments too. I ended up going to a nurse appointment in mum's place and begging her to show me how to dress leg ulcers! Feisty mothers can be quite terrifying! Is there anyone else inside or outside the family who can support you by suggesting to your mum that she should have a check up or who could call the doctor instead of you?
 

Lunamoon

New member
Sep 30, 2019
8
My Mum is terrifying too! There's no way I can get her to the doctor or even talk to her about her memory problem. It's sad because we were always so close.