1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. weeze

    weeze Registered User

    Oct 4, 2006
    121
    nottingham
    Hi, Just thought i'd do a quick introduction. My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's four years ago at the age of 64, she had felt for a while that her mind was slipping andhappened to mention it to her doctor who arranged for her to get it checked out and it was confirmed. My grandmother also had dementia and my mother is frightened of ending up the same way and i can't say I'm looking forwardto it much either. My mum had me quite late in life and now i find myself feeling very envious of my friends and their younger parents. None of them are having to consider caring for their parents yet let alone watching them slowly disappear but at 26 thats not something you would expect. I have two small children and i dread the thought of her fogetting who they are and the only memories they'll have is of a doolally (as she likes to put it) nanny, which is pretty much the main memories i have of my Nan. At the momnet she's doing well she lives alone and she takes care of her own bills etc the biggest change so far has been her moods. She's taken a dislike to one of her sisters for no apparent reason and she doesn't always seem to know where the line is anymore when it comes to passing coments on others. And of course the whole time you can't get cross with her because you know that it's not her fault if it wasn't for this disease she'd keep her opinions to her self(to a certain extent she never was a great diplomat!)
    Does anyone else ever get angry with this bloody awful disease?
    I feel like its robbing me and my children and it makes me so sad that i try and not think about it but I know i've got to face it, hence why i'm on here writing this in floods of tears.
    this hasn't been the quick intro I was planning but there you go!
    Louise
     
  2. May

    May Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    627
    Yorkshire
    Louise
    Just wanted to say hello and welcome to TP. A source of great comfort, inspiration, information and plenty of 'virtual' ears and shoulders to use when necessary.:( I call TP a sanity saver.;)

    yes,Yes and YES....we all do, and come here to shout, scream and cry when it all gets too much. But there are lighter moments too which we all treasure.
    Take care, come back and post again
     
  3. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    hi louise, welcome to TP. Sorry to hear you're going through this at such an early age. It can't be easy when you have young children to care for too. It's very understandable to be sad and angry and a whole load of other emotions when faced with something like this. It sounds like you're strong though, and resourceful in finding out sources of support like TP. There's always someone here who will understand where you're coming from ....... it's a great source of support. I wish I'd found it earlier in my dad's illness. Am I right in guessing that you're the "only one", I wonder? That can make it especially hard .......... though some of the stories I've heard about difficulties with siblings have made me think maybe I've had it easier being an only child.

    ........ anyway, welcome ........... look forward to seeing you around some more.

    Áine
     
  4. zak

    zak Registered User

    Sep 29, 2006
    9
    hi louise

    i totally understand where you are coming from, i feel the same as so many others will. im fairly new too and it is a godsend to have this talking point. you will meet new friends here and be able to get things off your chest.. my dad has dementia and i struggle hard and feel i cant cope, the guilt i feel is awful, and the anger gets taken out on other things, i have no-one who understands here and my siblings think different to me which causes more anger and frustration, i hope you find some answers and some help here. hope to talk again
     
  5. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Just coming in to say hello and welcome. Yes we all get very VERY VERY angry at this disease. It is sad that you have to deal with this when you are so young (your Mum is not that old either!) - but you will find strength and the support here is immense. In the early stages my husband had strange mood changes too (and he never was moody) - but you will possibly find that the different phases come and go. Get all the help you can locally - local Alz Society, Age Concern and those sort of groups can be very supportive. I also found it easier once my husband agreed to 'tell' everyone and then friends generally became very understanding.
    Best wishes BeckyJan
     
  6. Bristolbelle

    Bristolbelle Registered User

    Aug 18, 2006
    1,847
    Bristol
    Hello

    Hi Lousie, I'm a relative newbie too. My Mum is 76 and was only diagnosed a few months back. It;s odd but she seems to have taken a distinct dislike to certain people too. Unfortuanately one is our next door neighbour.
    The other thing I hve noticed is there seem to be particualr areas of Mum's memory that are particualalry affected such as her relationship with others, she keeps on and on asking me about when "We" thinking I'm her sister. Mostly at the moment we are able to laugh at it together, but it is a worry.
    I hope you will find the group useful, I'm still in the very early stages of discovery, and have no previous contact with this condition I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not as I have no real idea what to expect.
    How about getting out the video recorder and camera etc and making a "memory box" for you children o enjoy before you Mum gets too bad. perhaps you could somehow suggest this to you Mum as "Her" project, to tell the children all about her life. It might emntertain her and help her remember a few good times.
    Anyway nice to have you on board
    Take care
    Bristolbelle
     
  7. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Weeze,
    Welcome to TP.
    Try not to worry about this one. I think the most important thing children learn from their grandparents is love. My boys don't remember their nanna well, but they still love her; I think at times they feel sad that they haven't had the chance to know her as she was, but I think loving someone with dementia has made them more caring individuals. I wouldn't have chosen it to be so, but I like to think that it has given them a depth to their personalities that they might not otherwise have had.
    Maybe it's just me looking for a 'silver lining'.
    Love Helen
     

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