Hi ..here because. Mums gone & I've got nowhere to go
- Thread starter Ksaray
- Start date
So sorry for your loss and the sometimes overwhelming thought of feeling lost after intense lengthy caring is familiar to many of us here on TP. Time for me has started to lessen the intensity of the sense of loss but it never goes away.
Im so sorry for your loss, l think the hardest part must be the gaps in the day that suddenly appear....and slap us in the face, lots of gaps, so going from a time we think...if only l had a day to myself, suddenly having it is a huge change. Add to that the loss it surely feels overwhelming and leaves too many hours filled with thoughts rattling round in our heads.
My only suggestions would be, be kind to yourself and find something that keeps your attention, for a minute, an hour or longer, a good book that can be lifted then left might be the thing,everyone is different it all takes time xxxxx
I also feel setting aside time when its ok to feel the loss is good too, have a cry, a rant, a look at old photographs is a great thing, years ago we would have visited graves, taken flowers and allowed ourselves grief, cremations seem to have robbed us of that.
My only suggestions would be, be kind to yourself and find something that keeps your attention, for a minute, an hour or longer, a good book that can be lifted then left might be the thing,everyone is different it all takes time xxxxx
I also feel setting aside time when its ok to feel the loss is good too, have a cry, a rant, a look at old photographs is a great thing, years ago we would have visited graves, taken flowers and allowed ourselves grief, cremations seem to have robbed us of that.
hi @Ksaray and welcome
my condolences
same here, dad died in January and I miss both visiting my dad and the dad of old ... lost mum 13 years ago and miss her ... I feel fortunate that I have so many happy memories, so when I feel lost I bring a memory to mind and make myself smile; it helps me
we each grieve in our own way and at our own pace .... take your time ...
my condolences
same here, dad died in January and I miss both visiting my dad and the dad of old ... lost mum 13 years ago and miss her ... I feel fortunate that I have so many happy memories, so when I feel lost I bring a memory to mind and make myself smile; it helps me
we each grieve in our own way and at our own pace .... take your time ...
Thanks Everyone x
Your lovely comments are much appreciated. I completely resonate with everyones thoughts & feelings. It's nice to be able to be somewhere folk understand.
I think that despite the brain fog ..in the later stages mum knew I was beside her the whole time.
When she couldn't say my name anymore she still knew who I was. Nearly always,
I could see it in her eyes ..it was the same way she'd looked into my eyes all my life.
So grateful for that.
Because from the point of diagnosis- that was always my worst fear that she'd forget who I was .. but no she never did forget.
I hate this flippin Dementia..its got to be one of the cruelest illnesses out there. I do hope for my sake , 10 / 15 years from now there will be a cure.
Sorry for going on ..& on lol
Just spamming my thoughts
Your lovely comments are much appreciated. I completely resonate with everyones thoughts & feelings. It's nice to be able to be somewhere folk understand.
I think that despite the brain fog ..in the later stages mum knew I was beside her the whole time.
When she couldn't say my name anymore she still knew who I was. Nearly always,
I could see it in her eyes ..it was the same way she'd looked into my eyes all my life.
So grateful for that.
Because from the point of diagnosis- that was always my worst fear that she'd forget who I was .. but no she never did forget.
I hate this flippin Dementia..its got to be one of the cruelest illnesses out there. I do hope for my sake , 10 / 15 years from now there will be a cure.
Sorry for going on ..& on lol
Just spamming my thoughts
My mum once said to me, at the start of her illness, "don't let me forget who you are"; she did forget I was her daughter as was muddled about relationships but when I asked her who I was she once said "you're my best friend" - I couldn't disagree. She knew me in hospital before she passed too even though she couldn't say much, I could see it in her eyes. My dad, who has just died, never forgot who I was even though we weren't as close and he didn't think that much of me. It's strange how each sufferer loses different memories and abilities.Thanks Everyone x
Your lovely comments are much appreciated. I completely resonate with everyones thoughts & feelings. It's nice to be able to be somewhere folk understand.
I think that despite the brain fog ..in the later stages mum knew I was beside her the whole time.
When she couldn't say my name anymore she still knew who I was. Nearly always,
I could see it in her eyes ..it was the same way she'd looked into my eyes all my life.
So grateful for that.
Because from the point of diagnosis- that was always my worst fear that she'd forget who I was .. but no she never did forget.
I hate this flippin Dementia..its got to be one of the cruelest illnesses out there. I do hope for my sake , 10 / 15 years from now there will be a cure.
Sorry for going on ..& on lol
Just spamming my thoughts
Karen
