Hi and welcome !
I think we care givers go through stages just like the AD sufferer does. I found the middle and late middle stages the hardest to tolerate. My Mom is in late stage now and in a nursing home. She still knows me and my Dad but has trouble putting who everyone else is together. I expect that we will dissapear from her memory next and I am trying to be prepared for that.
At any rate, this has been my experience.
EARLY AD THEM: denial, anger, confusion
US: denial,anger,confusion,
MIDDLE STAGE THEM: anger, confusion, impatience, saddness, dread
US: anger, confusion, impatience, saddness, dread
LATE STAGE THEM: lost, living only in the moment, acceptance, enjoying only
life's little gifts, a smile, a nod, a hug, etc
US: lost ( because we have to learn to live without them)
, living only in the moment(because that is all they
are aware of), saddness ( at where they are now),
acceptance ( because there is no
other choice, the fight is lost), enjoying only life's little
gift's ( because now we find joy in the smallest of things
with them,a smile, a nod, a hug)
Try not to look too far ahead. You will adapt, change and grow accustomed to life with your loved one at the stage they are at. I know my whole Mom wouldn't want this for herself, but she is still here and I will make it count. I know you will make the best of it too as you obviously love your Dad very much.
Take care,
Debbie