Hi Everyone


Registered User
Jul 13, 2007
Shepshed / uk
Hello My name is Sofie, My nan has just been diagnosed with Vascilar Dementia.

She's in hospital at the moment forbiding to eat drink or take medication.(sp?) :( She has lost so much weight she is barely recognisable she has shrunk to a tiny 6 stone. although the doctors and nurses can't force her to eat due to human rights! she has barely eaten anything in 4 weeks and yet has still not been put on a drip!

Anyway nice to meet everyone x

Sofie x x x


Registered User
Jul 2, 2006
Newport, Gwent
Hi Sofie

Welcome to TP.

So sorry to hear that your nan is not doing so good, its a dreadful disease, but take heart, she is in the best possible place, and with luck, the hospital staff will get her to eat something in the near future.

Keep posting and let us know how you, and your nan are doing.



Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
Hi Sophie and welcome to TP.

How long has your nan had vascular dementia? Unfortunately soemtimes when people have had this condition for a while they do soemtimes decide to stop eating and also refuse medication. Sometimes it's becasue they simply can't swallow, and sometimes it almost seems like a choice on their part. Has she been seen by a speech therapist (strangly these are the people who deal with swallowing difficulties).

Whether you force this issue depends a lot on your personal beliefs. Some of us feel that every effort should be made, including the insertion of a PEG feeding tube, while others feel it's more appropriate to let nature take its course. Has anyone asked about the possibility of a PEG feed?

Best wishes



Registered User
Apr 10, 2006
Hiya Sofie

Welcome to TP, sorry to hear about your Nan, it must be very worrying for you and your family.

Could it be that its not so much that your Nan is refusing to eat or drink, but more a case of her being unable to swallow?.......... as many dementia patients do lose their swallowing reflex, i would check with the doctors if i was you.

I'm not sure what stage your Nan is at, but if your Nan is suffering from Dementia then she can not be classed as having the ability to make a decision to refuse food, the decision will then rest with the doctors and they will nornally act in the patients best interest, i would also talk to your Nans doctors about this, as they should take your families wishes into consideration in their decision whether to drip feed or not.

I hope you manage to get your Nan's eating problem sorted.

Best wishes
Alex x

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hello Sofie

It`s so upsetting to watch someone you love fade away. I can only suggest you have a proper discussion with the doctors and ask them if they know why your nan has stopped eating or drinking.

Is is because she no longer wants to, or is it because she is unable to. If you knew the qnswer, it might help.you.

Take care xx


Registered User
Jul 13, 2007
Shepshed / uk

my nan was only diagnosed 4 weeks ago. 3 months ago she seemed fine and now all she does is repeat the same things "i can't eat" "i haven't eaten" "now they think i've eaten" She agree's with everything you say. i told her she needs to eat and all she says is "yes"

She seems to have stopped talking. She looks at you when you talk and seems to be taking it in. but then will just say yes or no.

I don't think it is a problem with swallowing as she eats sometimes. Only little things like 2 spoons of soup half a weetabix or something.

It seems like all of this has happened so quickly! 3 months ago she was fine and now she's like an empty shell! :(


Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
Hiya Sofie.
It must be so upsetting seeing such a rapid change in your nan. If she can eat, keep encouraging her - take her little treats to try and get her interested in food again.

Nan is not an empty shell though - she is still there - just she fnds it harder to communicate with you now. So you have to find new ways - a touch, a smile, music she likes, flowers - she may ot be able to communicate her love for you anymore, but you can still her.

Nan is still there Sofie.
Love Helen


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi Sophie

I'm sorry your nan has deteriorated so quickly, it must be worrying for you thet she doesn't eat.

I think, like the others, that you need to ask to see her consultant to find out exactly what they think.

I think you should also ask for the speech and language therapist to see her. Loss of language is often associated with difficulty swallowing, and these may be symptoms of fronto-temporal dementia. Thickened liquids is a good suggestion.

I hope you manage to find out more, let us know.