Hi I’m new on this forum. I’ve been looking after my 94 year old mother who has Alzheimer’s for the last four years. I’ve not got a great deal of support from other family members and im feeling in real need of some help. I never go out have no interests and finding everyday a challenge
Help
- Thread starter Willows22@
- Start date
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point. You'll find empathy and helpful suggestions from our supportive and friendly community. Have a look around, post any questions you have or just come here to let off steam.
Sorry to hear of you situation. If I might ask a few questions which would help everyone on here give you better advice.
1 if you don’t mind the question, how old are you please? Just roughly, a person in their 40s would have different needs/perspective to a person in their 70s. I hope you’ll forgive me asking
2 do you have both LPAs? Health and finance. Are they registered? Are you sole attorney or joint or joint and severally with someone else?
3 do you work?
4 have you had a recent needs assessment for your mother? Or a carers assessment for you?
5 do you live with your mother? Does she live with you? (if you live in the same property, who owns it?’
sorry to ask, but it really will help to know these things. Of course, you are free not to answer.
1 if you don’t mind the question, how old are you please? Just roughly, a person in their 40s would have different needs/perspective to a person in their 70s. I hope you’ll forgive me asking
2 do you have both LPAs? Health and finance. Are they registered? Are you sole attorney or joint or joint and severally with someone else?
3 do you work?
4 have you had a recent needs assessment for your mother? Or a carers assessment for you?
5 do you live with your mother? Does she live with you? (if you live in the same property, who owns it?’
sorry to ask, but it really will help to know these things. Of course, you are free not to answer.
Hi @Willows22@ welcome from me too
I looked after my dad with dementia and I know what a lonely path it is to tread - especially when other family members can’t be seen for dust! I really struggled to look after my dad as the years went on and his dementia got worse.
Have you approached your LA to see if you can get carers to help with your mum? They might also be able to tell you if there are any groups which you and your mum could join. I know some members here have enjoyed attending things like ‘singing for the brain’ or other groups designed for both dementia sufferers and their carers.
I looked after my dad with dementia and I know what a lonely path it is to tread - especially when other family members can’t be seen for dust! I really struggled to look after my dad as the years went on and his dementia got worse.
Have you approached your LA to see if you can get carers to help with your mum? They might also be able to tell you if there are any groups which you and your mum could join. I know some members here have enjoyed attending things like ‘singing for the brain’ or other groups designed for both dementia sufferers and their carers.
@Willows22@ it would also help if you told us which of the four nations your Mum lives in, as their social care differs.
Hello @Willows22@
A warm welcome to DTP
That's a long time to be caring for your mum on your own, no wonder you are finding life a challenge, you both need and deserve some support
I'll assume you are in England ... your mum has a right to an assessment of her care needs by the Local Authority Adult Services, their contact details will be on the LA website ... from this a care package will be suggested eg home care visits, respite, day care ... so your mum will be helped and you have some time for yourself, which is important
you are eligible for a carer's assessment too
if your mum has little income and savings, the LA will contribute to payment of her care fees and decide what care will meet her needs, if she has is able to self-fund her care, you can put in place what care you believe is appropriate ... payment of any care fees should be from her funds only, not yours
this will help with working out the financial side
www.alzheimers.org.uk
and this has details of services
www.alzheimers.org.uk
www.alzheimers.org.uk
you may find it helpful to talk with an Admiral Nurse, they are there to support carers
www.dementiauk.org
I hope you have already applied for Attendance Allowance, if not have a look ... AgeUK and CAB can help with filling in the forms ... and once it is in place, contact th LA for a disregard of Council Tax, which is 100% if your mum lives on her own
www.gov.uk
depending on your age and working hours, you may be eligible for carer's allowance
www.gov.uk
whatever is on your mind, post here with questions or just to vent and members will respond
A warm welcome to DTP
That's a long time to be caring for your mum on your own, no wonder you are finding life a challenge, you both need and deserve some support
I'll assume you are in England ... your mum has a right to an assessment of her care needs by the Local Authority Adult Services, their contact details will be on the LA website ... from this a care package will be suggested eg home care visits, respite, day care ... so your mum will be helped and you have some time for yourself, which is important
you are eligible for a carer's assessment too
if your mum has little income and savings, the LA will contribute to payment of her care fees and decide what care will meet her needs, if she has is able to self-fund her care, you can put in place what care you believe is appropriate ... payment of any care fees should be from her funds only, not yours
this will help with working out the financial side
Paying for dementia care in England
Dementia care isn't free, and you may need to pay for some of the care you or someone you know needs. We help you understand the different ways to pay for care, and the amount you might be expected to pay.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
and this has details of services
Your local dementia support services
We are here to help. Find out more about the type of dementia support services available in your area.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
Dementia support services
Alzheimer's Society provides help and hope to anyone affected by dementia. Call our support line, join our online community, find support in your local area or get dementia information.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
you may find it helpful to talk with an Admiral Nurse, they are there to support carers
What is an Admiral Nurse and how can they help?
Dementia UK is a charity that provides Admiral Nurses for families affected by dementia. Call our Dementia Helpline to find out how we can support you.
www.dementiauk.org
I hope you have already applied for Attendance Allowance, if not have a look ... AgeUK and CAB can help with filling in the forms ... and once it is in place, contact th LA for a disregard of Council Tax, which is 100% if your mum lives on her own
Attendance Allowance claim form
Use the Attendance Allowance claim form to apply for financial help for your personal care if you're disabled and State Pension age or older.
depending on your age and working hours, you may be eligible for carer's allowance
Carer's Allowance claim form
Use this form to claim Carer’s Allowance by post if you can’t claim online.
whatever is on your mind, post here with questions or just to vent and members will respond
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