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Katicustard

New member
May 25, 2020
2
Evening all, myself and my brother are in need of advice. Our dad was diagnosed with alzhiemers last november and due to covid we are struggling with gettinh any help also my brother had to move back home recently which also isn't helping us get support but he will be moving out soon. We are worried about various aspects of dads safety

Dad's in a 3 bedroom house which he has already fallen down. He's cooking meals but not cooking them right, this evening he has eaten chicken that wasn't cooked right and got really upset when my brother told him not to eat it. We are waiting a visit from an occupational therapist but they are only seeing emergencies. He's very reluctant to move and doesn't want anyone going to the house has he beleives he doesn't need help. We feel at a lose as to what to do as everyone we speak to doesnt seem to be able to help at the minute or feel we don't need help with my brother been there but he works full time
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,497
Nottinghamshire
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Katicustard

Most people with dementia believe they are coping just fine! Your dad obviously isn’t. You need to call Adult Social Care and ask for an urgent needs assessment. Make it clear that your brother cannot remain to look after your dad and your dad is a vulnerable adult at risk of falls and poisoning due to his poor food hygiene .

You will have to make it clear that your dad is alone. Don’t say that your brother is living with him as that sounds like a permanent arrangement say he’s been stopping there as your dad isn’t coping but has to return to his own home ASAP.
 

Rosettastone57

Registered User
Oct 27, 2016
1,265
Evening all, myself and my brother are in need of advice. Our dad was diagnosed with alzhiemers last november and due to covid we are struggling with gettinh any help also my brother had to move back home recently which also isn't helping us get support but he will be moving out soon. We are worried about various aspects of dads safety

Dad's in a 3 bedroom house which he has already fallen down. He's cooking meals but not cooking them right, this evening he has eaten chicken that wasn't cooked right and got really upset when my brother told him not to eat it. We are waiting a visit from an occupational therapist but they are only seeing emergencies. He's very reluctant to move and doesn't want anyone going to the house has he beleives he doesn't need help. We feel at a lose as to what to do as everyone we speak to doesnt seem to be able to help at the minute or feel we don't need help with my brother been there but he works full time
Im afraid that when the person with dementia thinks they're fine, this is quite normal. As others have said, contact adult social care for a needs assessment. Have you got power of attorney? if not , then it's a must .
 

Katicustard

New member
May 25, 2020
2
We have our local dementia group involved, social services aren't concerned at the minute despite what we have both told them. Ss phoned us 2 week ago but we were both at work so my brother phoned them back and they had no recolection of us. We have tried speaking to his nurse specialist with no help and OT are concerned but not sure when they will get to see him.

We have spoken to dad about power of attorney but he has recently become very protective of his money and is constantly making my brother take him to check his bank to check no one is taking his money so he is now reluctant to give us power. We want to get it for his health too as he's been getting appointments over the phone for other problems but is forgetting the full details

We feel lost as to what to do as there is only myself and my brother to help him
 

nellbelles

Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
8,739
leicester
Hello @Katicustard and a warm welcome to DTP
with regard to the LPA could you try telling your Dad you all (him you and your brother) should do one? If he sees you all filling the forms in do you think he might be more willing to sign?
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,497
Nottinghamshire
You can do POA online @Katicustard . Sell it to your dad as something everyone does. You could even download the forms for you and your brother too and fill them in (you don’t have to send them off)

You may have to be persistent with SS - I did - they had no recollection of me either. Follow up any phone calls with an email so you have a paper trail.
Would your dad accept meals on wheels? That way he’d be getting safe food and someone checking on him daily when they delivered it while you sort out what else he needs.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,897
South East
Hi @Katicustard welcome from me too. Can you say to dad that it would only be used if he really couldn’t understand but as he can then it wouldn’t need to be used , also that social services could apply and get accces to his account, better it’s family than strangers , also possibly fill them in and print off ready and at a good moment after a meal or earlier in day get him to sign saying that you are doing yours too as it’s very prudent , just ideas . Ss have responsibility and duty of care so you need to tell them he is vulnerable as bunpoots said , that he isn’t safe and your brother is leaving to return home . Hope you get some help soon .