Help please, I don't know what to do

[vb1982]

My mum has mixed alzheimers and mixed vascular dementia and lives alone with carers coming twice a day for half an hour. In between that time me, my brother and sister go and assist. We all work and have busy lives and we have reached a point where we just cannot do it anymore, we are at breaking point. She is more confused then ever, very demanding, constantly ringing us day and night, no concept of time, wandering down the street for walk.....I could go on.

We have another social services assessment next week but we literally need help now, we cannot continue like this, I just don't know what to do.

Mum is adament she doesnt need help from the carers, frequent infections as she is refusing showers now to....

This is a nightmare

 

[SherwoodSue]

I am sorry you have got to this point. If you have been around the forum for a while you will note many dementia journeys go through the same pattern. We manage until we can’t. PWD lack awareness of their own illness and lack empathy for us.
Do not let the guilt monster get you. You all did a sterling job for ages.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @vb1982 I have been reading back over your previous posts and from them and what you are saying now I do think that it is time that you considered residential care for your mum. The fact that she has started to wander out of the house is a big red flag that constant care is required, care that with the best will in the world you and your siblings can no longer provide.

I would suggest that you contact your local Adult Social Services and tell them that you and your siblings have reached carer burnout and that you can no longer look after your mum. Say that you are going to have to withdraw all care and that your mum would them be a vulnerable adult at risk of harm.

If your mum has assets of over £23,250 she would be self funding and you could just arrange for her to be moved into a care home.

 

[vb1982]

Thank you for responding, we will make a few calls and hopefully something can be sorted.