Help I think I'm too over bearing

[2197alexandra]

My dad has just moved into his new annexe we have had done for him in our garden. He came out of hospital yesterday and moved straight in with me and the kids. My problem is I think I'm being too Over bearing for him but I don't mean too I just want to know if he's ok and wants anything.

My dad had trouble talking and since his last hospital visit even yes no answers are impossible now. I have to judge by his eyes what he wants and as they are glazed normally again is so hard to know.

I asked him if he wanted to go bed an hour ago and he seemed to look at me and say no but now he's sleeping slouched over in the settee next to me.

How can I communicate with my dad so he gets what he wants and needs without me doing his head in.

The hospital have withdrew his mirtazipine since his lewy bodies diagnosis I'm scared he'll slip back into a deep depression how am I going to tell now between sleepiness and depression. :-(

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[jenniferpa]

I'm wondering if you should step back from the "asking questions" approach and take a more "this is what we are going to do now" approach. I know that sounds even more over bearing, but from my personal experience offering too many choices (or in many situations, any choices at all) actually makes everyone's lives more difficult. Not just yours, I hasten to add, but my mother found it very hard to make a choice at all, and was much more content when she simply didn't have to. She just found it too hard to decide.

 

[2197alexandra]

Talking Point keeps crashing everytime I write a reply on my phone. :-(


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[jenniferpa]

If the app is crashing, your best bet is to delete the app and reinstall it.

 

[2197alexandra]

Have reinstalled hopefully will be more stable now.

Well I just got dad ready for bed and whilst changing him I needed to know something and asked him for thumbs up if yes to which he put his thumb up. So I thought ok if that works thumbs down for no and said to dad ok our new password been us is thumbs up v thumbs down.

I hope it works tomorrow.

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[2jays]

Talking Point keeps crashing everytime I write a reply on my phone. :-(


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As Jennifer says, sometimes you need to delete the app and reinstall

Another tip - make sure your cookies and history and data in your phone settings have been cleared from your phone on a regular basis. Don't forget to book mark any pages you usually keep open in safari

I find if the app seems to be taking time to load, I automatically go and clear my cookies etc. so far I haven't had the need to reinstall the app for a while.


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[LYN T]

I'm wondering if you should step back from the "asking questions" approach and take a more "this is what we are going to do now" approach. I know that sounds even more over bearing, but from my personal experience offering too many choices (or in many situations, any choices at all) actually makes everyone's lives more difficult. Not just yours, I hasten to add, but my mother found it very hard to make a choice at all, and was much more content when she simply didn't have to. She just found it too hard to decide.

A couple of years ago Pete got to this stage. Giving suggestions/alternatives were just out of the question. Most times he didn't understand the questions-so how could he give an answer.?

It took a while but I learnt to read Pete's facial expressions to judge whether he was happy/sad/angry.

Take care

Lyn T

 

[2197alexandra]

Well I have spent the entire day in dads annexe painting he didn't want to get out of bed so I pushed him into the middle of the room stuck the city match on the radio. Dad used to live listening to city play on radio Leicester but soon forgot how to turn the radio on and how to remember when football was even on.

He happily laid there all day watching me paint. Two coats on all four walls and the ceiling occasionally falling asleep. When id finished and pushed hos bed back he half smiled and stuck his thumb up.


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[marionq]

Sounds like you're winning! Good luck to you both.

 

[2197alexandra]

2jays how do I clean my phone I I've looked everywhere for a clear cache option and can't find it.

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[CollegeGirl]

I love the thumbs up and down idea! Hope it continues to work for you both for a long time. He obviously approved of the paint colour and the good job that you'd done .