Help for newbie carer please

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
I wish you luck too.

You are trying very hard to do the best for everyone, and I hope the GP listens to you, even though you are an `in-law`.

Love xx


Registered User
Jun 17, 2007
Update: The GP appreciated my printed list of background information. He is referring her to a psychiatric geriatrician; hoping she will be accepted because she is only 64 (they usually refer over 65's). Guess we won't know anything until then.

I am still concerned about her lack of eating though. She is just living on Fortisips at the moment; only 2 or 3 a day. Yesterday she had an egg. Today she ate 1/4 of a piece of toast. Her hair has mostly fallen out and she can barely support her own weight. Maybe I'll just try and think of things she really likes but doesn't have all the time, like cheese & onion pie...


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
Am wondering if you have phone your LA social services to see what support they can give you. they can do an assessment .

So freeing up time for you to spend with your family , Must be hard balancing it all with 2 young children.

So you can get the ball rolling

Then its all in place when , if
The dilemma is that it was never intended to be a long term situation for us to live here

Am just trying to help , support if I get to helpful please tell me to back of :)
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Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi Pamaris

I'm glad you managed to get the GP to visit your MIL. Hopefully you'll get an appointment to see the consultant in the near future, a diagnosis will allow you to set up a care plan for her.

The weight-loss is still worrying though, did the GP not make any suggestions? All you can do is give her whatever she will eat, and as many food supplements as she will take.

There's an AS factsheet here,

It may give you some ideas.

Well done for getting this far. How is your husband taking it now?

Let us know how you get on.



Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
Margarita said:
I was also in your husband shoes, back then

worse thing he could of said to me at that time, if only he could of sanded the test of time with me ( or me with him in me not taking him so negative ) things may of been different now , but he was to head on. so he lost. then later on denied he said that .

Dear Margarita,

Just wanted to say how sorry I am you were put in this dreadful position. I cannot imagine how hard and painful it must have been and I admire you so much for taking care of your Mum!!

You are an inspiration, a comfort and a great support to all of us on TP.
Thank you for being you!


Registered User
Jul 2, 2006
Newport, Gwent
Hi Pamaris

Really pleased that things are starting to happen for you.

It might be an idea in a day or two to telephone the GP's secretary to check that the referral has gone, I would also ask for the name of the Consultant MIL has been referred to, then I would start ringing them, see if you cannot push the referral along a bit.

It may also be helpful to the Consultant if you write to him before your MIL's first appointment with full details of how MIL is, weight loss etc. They usually are grateful for as much insight as possible.

Best wishes