Help - finding a care home for newly diagnosed dementia patient

[Username22]

My mother in law is having massive problems trying to find a care home that will accept her father in law. We are based in the UK and he has been recently diagnosed a few weeks ago after an incident where he was violent. He is still in hospital and has been for 4 weeks as every home that has assessed him has turned him down due to the violence. He seems to be getting worse in hospital though as he is confused and scared.

My mother in law is really struggling now with what to do as they live over 100 miles away and the social workers dont seem too helpful either.

Are there other alternatives to care homes or certain care homes specialising which they should try??

 

[Username22]

Help needed

Can anyone help advise at all?
Do care home have to accept dememtia patients or are there different levels etc?

 

[Eternity]

I'm sorry I can't help as I don't have any personal experience of this, but I think I have read posts where places have been found for dementia sufferers who have aggressive/violent behaviour. I think there is a different name used for these specialised places - not regular carehome (?)

Are you getting any help from hospital mental health team - at least a list of options/places?

I'm sure someone with experience will also reply to you soon here with their advice

Good luck and can only suggest that social services need to be pushed and pushed sometimes.
You might want to try calling Alzheimer's Society helpline too, they may be able to provide some advice on next steps if social services and hospital won't help

 

[nikky]

Hi there , I spent years working in different CH and eventually worked in EMI units these are the units that care for aggressive/violent dementia patients. They are specialised in caring for their needs. It is a special secure unit and staff are trained to minimise the aggression, unfortunately with the help of drugs. You will have to do your own research and contact SS for a list of all these units. I gave up work to look after my MiL and eventually she became aggressive and no home would take her. Luckily for me I had the background and knew what questions to ask and who. She was placed in a nursing home with a few EMI beds. And did very well there, the doctors are a lot more aware in units like this of the needs of the client and safety issues. There will probably be a waiting list so i would start looking now. Unfortunately there may not be one as close to home as you would like, but look.

I hope this helps and don't give up keep pestering until someone listens.

Can anyone help advise at all?
Do care home have to accept dememtia patients or are there different levels etc?

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Username22

I`m sorry you had to wait a while for responses. It`s the luck of the draw what time you post so I do hope you are not too disappointed.

The following is a factsheet from the Alzheimer`s Society with advice about selecting a care home. I hope it helps.

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=150

I`m afraid the best way to choose a care home is to visit as many homes as you can in the area you want. This may be difficult if your mother in law lives a distance away.

 

[sistermillicent]

It sounds as though you need a care home that is registered for EMI residents. It may even be that you need one that is also a nursing home. The only person who helped us and made us realise that this was what was needed for mum was a nurse in one of the well known chains of homes. She was fantastically helpful and talked to dad and me for an hour about it when we went to visit.
We had no help whatsoever from Social Services who refused even to suggest one single home in case they were seen to be showing favoritism. We got all our info from websites and visits, we visited loads.

The other thing which was awful and relevant to your particular query is that mum was very aggressive. This was very upsetting and we had done our best to manage and put up with it but in the end she needed medication to help with her own distress and anger etc but also to enable people to look after her - the alternative was probably to do a jane eyre thing and shut her in an attic, or rather shut ourselves in the attic and let her wreck the house and hurt herself.

She was prescribed antipsychotic medication which worked very well, she is more sleepy but not to the extent that she is completely zapped. This was done by a psychogeriatrician.

 

[sistermillicent]

by the way, I started by visiting care homes where i live just so that i had a base line for the standards and so that i was used to knowing how to ask and what to ask. it was very helpful even though mum wasn't going to go to any of them (am 150 miles away)