1. feebee

    feebee Registered User

    Mar 17, 2007
    7
    Hello all I joined a few months ago but I don't think I have posted anything, in fact I haven't visited this site for ages as real life has been so busy

    My mum has AD. She still lives at home with daycare 3 days a week and carers coming in for breakfast and tea times. I go up every day because she is very lonely since my step dad died. She wants to move to somewhere where she can see life going on as her road is very quiet. I work full time so it gets very tiring for me. I have just had to stay at hers this weekend because she had severe diarrhoea. I am now not well myself with a water infection but still have to go up later to see if she is ok (fingers crossed-yes). I don't like staying at her place as I get frightened by her in the night. She sometimes comes into the bedroom and turns the light on and wakes me up. She looks all dishevelled and asks me why I am there or says it's time to get up etc. My mum is 'not there', it's scary as she was always the one who knew what to do and to see her like this is very strange. I have a a partner and two teenage children and I don't spend as much time with them as I would like. When I get in from work and have done the tea I'm off out again to mum's. People tell me I don't need to go up everyday but she gets so low and talks about harming herself. She is on Aricept and Prozac which has just been increased. She has taken to wanting whisky to put herself to sleep and I have banned it. She will, when she's feeling well enough, go to the local shop and buy it so I find bottles hidden around her place and take them away. She can't understand why I won't let her have her whisky. She hates being on her own so much but what can I do? My sister and brother live near London and are really not close to mum anyway. We are however seeing if a charity can help us find mum a nice residential home or something. Someone told me that mum should not have to pay for her care but is that right? She has a dog but has even taken to saying the dog will have to be rehomed so she can move. Before she would not even think about it unless the dog could come too

    I hope to find lots of advice and support on this site and look forward to getting to know you all
     
  2. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    #2 BeckyJan, Jan 8, 2008
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2008
    Hello Feebee:

    It is not easy to give you answers. If your Mum is happy to go into a residential home then that is a bonus cos many of us have loved ones who will not accept it.

    If your Mum has AD then she should have a CPN or Social Services aide to help her. I am not sure that any charity will help you to find a home - that seems unlikely. Funding is a hard one for us to answer. Much depends on your Mum's financial situation. If she has no private funds then Social Services definitely need to be involved.

    I do hope you get more help. Firstly ring your Mum's CPN or Social Worker.

    Best wishes and good luck Jan
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,594
    Kent
    It really does sound as if your mother wants to be with others and will be happy to go into residential care.
    Why not do as BeckyJan suggested and contact your mother`s Social worker or CPN. If you don`t know who they are, I`m sure your mother`s GP will help.
     
  4. feebee

    feebee Registered User

    Mar 17, 2007
    7
    Thanks for your replies

    Mum rang the ambulance this morning because she felt so lonely, mixed up and depressed. She has a good care package but obviously not enough now and I have written to her nurse at the daycare unit. (I am profoundly deaf which makes things very difficult as I cannot just ring people up about things)

    The charity will at least give us advice. They do have, I think, two residential homes but may not be suited to mum's needs
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,594
    Kent
    How sad. Your mother really would benefit from a residential placement and I wish you luck in finding the right home for her.

    Love xx
     
  6. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Dear feebee, it does sound as if your mum desperately needs company. I do hope you manage to find a suitable home for her soon.

    Love,
     

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