Hello

[Jyo62]

Hi, I am Jyo from India. My mom is 90 and has been a dementia patient for the past six years. Suffered three falls in the interim, she joined me in September as both my elder sister and brother have taken care of her and they have reached 65 + now with their own medical issues. She recently had another fall n fractures. Memory deterioration worsened and she seemed to lose connection mid sentence. I am unable to cope with the emotions, watching her deteriorate day by day. Should she be in a dementia care centre with medical supervision rather than at home? I don’t feel adequately equipped to deal with an advanced stage patient. For now we’ve engaged a full time care taker to attend to her. As I work from home, I get nervous we may miss some vital signs on time. Would love some support from members.

 

[SherwoodSue]

Hello there

Perhaps there are two things going on here

Your mothers needs being met and your own emotions

If you can afford round the clock care for your mum in familiar surroundings then I would continue with that , as long as she isn’t having unmanageable pain or anything medical.

Perhaps you could arrange some talking therapy for yourself, these are big emotions, it’s a bit like grief in advance

Maybe also having put support in place at home , you could have a couple of days away, to give yourself a break?

I would not worry about missing things, you have done well to get your loved in to 90.
From here in in its not extending these years that should be your goal but making the time left as agreeable as possible for the whole family

 

[Kathychick]

Hello, I'm new to this forum too! If you can find a care home you're happy with, and feel the care is good, it might be the better option at this stage as they should be trained in providing the care your mum needs at this stage of the condition. The move to a care home is no easy decision as I am experiencing myself. If being in a home is the safest option for her, and it sounds that may be the case given her recent fall, you would be doing right by her, however hard it may feel.