Hi Jo - Sorry to hear about your dad. It is very hard to face your loved one saying they want to go home every day and asking why. With my mum I just used to say she had a heart problem and they needed to monitor her - the doctor would decide when she could go home. She looked a bit sceptical at first but I and my sisters just kept repeating it and eventually she settled into the care home. From reading on this forum I think that nearly all settle eventually - in the meantime I think you can only visit when you think appropriate, leave if possible when something is happening eg a toilet visit or meal and importantly when you leave refuse to think about it and focus on making the best of your life - you are not harming him and he would want you to be as happy as you can be in the circumstances. I try to copy Scarlett O'Hara in ' Gone with the Wind' who faced her problems with 'I'll think about that tomorrow'.
