Hello, I’m Kate.
My mum very recently went into a care home, having been sectioned in the summer. My dad has Parkinson’s himself, and could no longer cope with caring for her. Mum now won’t have anything to do with my dad, my sister or me. She often doesn’t seem to recognise us, but then she will make bitter remarks about how we have had her ‘locked away’ , or have done nothing to get her out and back home. She has ignored her developing dementia for several years, despite us begging her to go to the GP, and even making appointments for her, which she refused to go to. She has no awareness of her condition now and thinks we just don’t want her any more, which of course couldn’t be further from the truth. We are heartbroken and full of guilt. I wonder all the time if we’ve done the right thing, but she refused to allow any kind of care for herself or for my dad, in the house. We felt we were left with no choice. My dad was rushed into hospital in the summer, and it was then that the medics noticed mum’s condition and asked for our permission to section her. I am full of guilt for saying yes, but she is a very strong personality, and wouldn’t even let me or my sister support them at home. She has thrown me out of the house twice, for trying to help.
I guess I’m just wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar, where the person with dementia rejects all family. She keeps demanding a divorce from my dad. Perhaps I need a little reassurance that we’ve done the right thing. I don’t see how else we could have coped.
My mum very recently went into a care home, having been sectioned in the summer. My dad has Parkinson’s himself, and could no longer cope with caring for her. Mum now won’t have anything to do with my dad, my sister or me. She often doesn’t seem to recognise us, but then she will make bitter remarks about how we have had her ‘locked away’ , or have done nothing to get her out and back home. She has ignored her developing dementia for several years, despite us begging her to go to the GP, and even making appointments for her, which she refused to go to. She has no awareness of her condition now and thinks we just don’t want her any more, which of course couldn’t be further from the truth. We are heartbroken and full of guilt. I wonder all the time if we’ve done the right thing, but she refused to allow any kind of care for herself or for my dad, in the house. We felt we were left with no choice. My dad was rushed into hospital in the summer, and it was then that the medics noticed mum’s condition and asked for our permission to section her. I am full of guilt for saying yes, but she is a very strong personality, and wouldn’t even let me or my sister support them at home. She has thrown me out of the house twice, for trying to help.
I guess I’m just wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar, where the person with dementia rejects all family. She keeps demanding a divorce from my dad. Perhaps I need a little reassurance that we’ve done the right thing. I don’t see how else we could have coped.
