Hello, I'm new here and hope to seek advice for my dementia mother

[maggie_w]

Hello, my name is maggie. I'm a full-time carer and the only child of my mother who has been suffering from Alzheimer's since 2019; she's turning 89 in June.

Recently, she has developed an obsession with spending an excessive amount of time in the toilet and goes to the toilet almost every hour; sometimes she doesn't have any discharge. She doesn't have incontinence and wears pull-up pants, but still chooses to go to the toilet (the commode at night). It largely affects her sleeping quality and daily life. I've brought her to the GP and Continence Nurse, and they both said it's her dementia sending her the wrong signal urging her to the toilet. Because of her unstable BP, no suitable medication has been prescribed.

I feel helpless, disappointed and frustrated, she keeps asking for the toilet when going out. I hope to get some advice to soothe her "toilet obsession" suffering. Very difficult to manage her and myself!

 

[Louise7]

Hello @maggie_w welcome to the forum. Toileting issues can be difficult to manage and it's understandable that you are feeling frustrated, especially as both the GP and continence have not been able to provide any suggestions that might help. It's a topic that does come up a lot here and members are happy to share their experiences and also offer advice and support if they can. I wonder if your mum has had a toileting accident previously and this has made her more anxious and is causing her to worry and spend more time in the toilet? Has constipation and a urine infection been ruled out, as these were something that affected my mum sometimes, resulting in increased toilet visits. Although it sounds as if dementia medication has been ruled out due to your mum's BP, has the GP considered whether a low dose of anti-anxiety medication might help her? Hopefully others will be along with more thoughts.

 

[maggie_w]

Hello @maggie_w welcome to the forum. Toileting issues can be difficult to manage and it's understandable that you are feeling frustrated, especially as both the GP and continence have not been able to provide any suggestions that might help. It's a topic that does come up a lot here and members are happy to share their experiences and also offer advice and support if they can. I wonder if your mum has had a toileting accident previously and this has made her more anxious and is causing her to worry and spend more time in the toilet? Has constipation and a urine infection been ruled out, as these were something that affected my mum sometimes, resulting in increased toilet visits. Although it sounds as if dementia medication has been ruled out due to your mum's BP, has the GP considered whether a low dose of anti-anxiety medication might help her? Hopefully others will be along with more thoughts.

Thank you @Louise7 for your sharing and advice. She had UTI before but is ok now. Constipation-wise, she's now taking Docusate which helps. She's so anxious to wet her pants and bed therefore wakes up to the commode once there is an urge! I'll discuss with the GP about the low dose of anti-anxiety medication. Thanks again =)