1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Hello. I'm a new member.

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by PeggySue, Oct 21, 2006.

  1. PeggySue

    PeggySue Registered User

    Oct 21, 2006
    1
    Lancashire
    Hi everyone.

    I've just found this forum, after searching the internet for info on Alzheimers,, as my Dad, aged 78, has just been diagnosed. Also, with Parkinsons, and dementia.
    I must be honest here, and say..... I'm stuck for words, I'm shocked, hurt, worried, and confused. I know you are all here for similar reasons, and will maybe be able to help each other in different ways.... erm,, I dont even know what help I'm looking for really, as this is all new to me. I know it's very hard to cope with, and very upsetting to see someone go from a 6'3" upright and very strong man, to a stooped over, old man, in such a short time.
    I'm looking forward to 'learning' from you all... and of course, being there for you, if ever there is a time when I, can help any of you.
    Thats it for now..... I'm unsure of what to say........ apart from.... 'hello' :)
     
  2. KenC

    KenC Registered User

    Mar 24, 2006
    913
    Co Durham
    #2 KenC, Oct 21, 2006
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2006
    New Member

    Hi PeggySue,

    Warm welcome to talking point. We are all friends here so you need not worry about us. We are all carers, family or people with the illness and we can talk about most things. To me, this is my second home and I think alot of the members think the same. Please feel at home and among friends, if you need ask anything, feel free. There is usually some one who can help or point you in the right direction. We all know how it feels and its very hard at times, but keep writing in we are here all the time.

    We welcome all new comers with open arms.

    Best Wishes

    kenc
     
  3. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    You have described my husband - from straight young figure even at 70 - 7 yrs later a man who looks more like a 90+ year old It is so sad I want to cry.

    PeggySue - it is very hard to see this happening to someone you love - but you will find some comfort and support here. My very best wishes
    Beckyjan
     
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hello PeggySue

    Welcome to TP. know how frightening it is when you're first faced with the diagnosis. But you've come to the right place. I've only been a member for a couple of months, but the people here are so friendly, and whatever you ask about, someone will know the answer, or will be able to point you in the right direction. I'm so glad I found this forum, and I'm sure in acouple of months you'll be saying the same.

    Of course you don't know what to ask at the moment, it's all too new for you. But keep reading the posts, and just jump in when you have anything to contribute, or if you have a specific question, just start a new thread.

    You'll soon make friends. Good luck,

    Hazel
     
  5. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hi PeggySue

    Welcome to tp..........just like to second what Ken said.

    I know its tough for you but i'm sure you'll find the strength to cope and you've got tp now to help you through the bad times!

    Love Alex x
     
  6. May

    May Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    627
    Yorkshire
    Hi Peggysue

    Welcome to TP...a place full of some the kindest people walking this planet. A place where you can get comfort and a 'virtual' shoulder any time, night or day, a sanity saver!
    Come back and post, as Ken said, someone can usually give an answer if you have a question.
    Take care
     
  7. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    1,157
    hi peggysue

    welcome to TP
    just to say a "hello" back and look forward to hearing more from you
     
  8. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    A big welcome from me - Nell
     
  9. jennyusa

    jennyusa Registered User

    Oct 24, 2006
    2
    Iowa, USA
    #9 jennyusa, Oct 24, 2006
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2006
    Hi, I'm a new member too

    I have been searching for a place where I can talk and not feel like a bad person. I brought my 88 year old grandmother to live with me and it has turned out to be much harder than I thought. She has recently been diagnosed with vascular dementia but noone really knows what stage of dementia she is in. She doesn't like to talk or eat much. I have seen her go downward so quickly and I feel as if I am not doing enough. I am frustrated and sad and I cry alot. I try to talk with my parents but that only makes things worse.

    I will lend an ear if someone else will.
    I need some help.:(
     
  10. Whiskas

    Whiskas Registered User

    Oct 17, 2006
    158
    Corby
    Hi jennyusa

    I'm a new member too. I've spent the last week just reading everything and it has been such a great help, you are sure to find what you are looking for here.

    My 88 year old mother lives with me, she has dementia. My Dad lived with me as well until he died last year, he had dementia too. So I know how you must be feeling. I used to think I wasn't doing enough but we can only do our best. Having your grandmother to live with you is a wonderful thing to do, you can't be a bad person. You just have to take one day at a time and hang on to the good bits even if they are few and far between!

    Take care of yourself

    Whiskas
     
  11. jennyusa

    jennyusa Registered User

    Oct 24, 2006
    2
    Iowa, USA
    thanks for support

    Today is day 2 of not eating. She refuses to open her eyes or talk to me. I know that I cannot force her to eat but it is hard to see someone starve themselves. She just sits in her recliner and sleeps all day and then doesn't sleep at night. I try to stimulate her during the day but it is hard when she won't cooperate. I don't know what else to do. Hospice has come back into the picture so I guess the end may be near. I was so unprepared for taking this venture on. I just want to be a good granddaughter and help her but how do you do that for someone who doesn't want it.

    ARGGGG!!!!
     
  12. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    I am sorry she won't eat or talk, I hope hospice is helping. Hope you can hold her hand, perhaps sing to her. Wish I had been allowed to hold my mother's hand, or rub her back, and talk or sing to her till the end.

    Lila
     
  13. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    715
    Lisa USA

    My Mother is 90 with Vascular Dementia and she too is refusing to eat or take her blood pressure pills

    Its their way of saying they have had enough just let me slip away
     
  14. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    peggysue, jennyusa, Whiskas just like to say welcome to TP and know the feeling when jennyusa said

    , that use to happen a lot to me in the past . I have pass that stage , as now all I do is let nature take its cause with this disease , all that is left is for me to do now ( how can I say this with out coming across as hard) keep her warm ,safe show her my love, understanding . ((hugs)) to all .
     
  15. Whiskas

    Whiskas Registered User

    Oct 17, 2006
    158
    Corby
    Margarita
    Thanks for the welcome, I'm feeling very at home here where everyone knows how things are. I didn't think you sounded hard, just accepting of your situation which can't be easy. I keep thinking I've got there and then something else goes wrong!!

    Jennyusa
    How are things? Hope you are ok. Thinking about you, take care
    Whiskas
     

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