Hello, I am new to this Forum
- Thread starter LoiM
- Start date
amIinthewrong?
Registered User
Hello, my mum is in a nursing home and I miss her everyday as well and feel alone too, I wish we could turn our feelings off to help with the hurt we face everyday day from missing our loved ones, just remember while we do miss them,we can still go see them when the next day comes around, but I hope that you and me can be able to find a way to cope with missing our loved ones. 💐💐💐💐
I often think the same, at least he is still alive. We've been together for 47 years, I was 21 when we became partners and married. We've both worjed hard and raised our family and built our future. These are now our golden years. Im 68 years old and now retired from work. Everything around me reminds me of him. I know life will never be the same and I try everyday to build strength and resilience. I adore and love him regardless of who he has become. My heart is breaking.
northumbrian_k
Volunteer Host
Hi @LoiM and welcome to the Forum our friendly and helpful community of people who have experience of many aspects of dementia. I am sorry to hear about your situation. My wife and I had 37 years together before her permanent admission to a care home. That was difficult but I have learned that living apart does not mean that we are no longer a couple. She has been in her home for 5 years now. Before the pandemic I visited 4 times a week but now - after a long period of no or limited visiting - I find that 2 times a week is sufficient for both of us. In part that is because her dementia is advanced but it is also because I can see that she is settled and content. When not visiting I have put back together the pieces of my own life that were shattered by her dementia. It is a lot different from having her here, but with the help of friends and my dog I have made the best of my life as a singleton.
I do hope that you can find a way of getting to a situation where life is tolerable and not always. focused on the hole that has been left by his absence. Here on the Forum there are many people who will help you when things feel tough. Reach out for our support and understanding whenever you need it. That is what helped and continues to help me.
I do hope that you can find a way of getting to a situation where life is tolerable and not always. focused on the hole that has been left by his absence. Here on the Forum there are many people who will help you when things feel tough. Reach out for our support and understanding whenever you need it. That is what helped and continues to help me.
Thanks for your reply @northumbrian_k
My husband has been in care for 1-1/2 years now. He is not happy to be there, but is well cared for, and more importantly safe. He knows me and is relieved to see me everyday. I feel so guilty that he is not home with me, and sad when I leave him. I am trying to start a new life without him. Some days I catchup with friends and meet new ones. Some weeks I hide from people because I don't want to share my sadness. I know that intime I will build a better life, but at the moment I feel stuck.
