Hello I’m a newby

[PennyMcK]

Hi, i’m new to the forum and wanted to day hello.

I’m not sure if me joining is premature as my husband hasn’t had a diagnoses yet but he has had an MRI scan last week and we are waiting for the follow up appointment.

It sounds weird for me to say this but my worst fear is of getting inconclusive results. Of course I don’t want him to have a positive diagnoses but I need to have answers of why his memory is so bad and the impact it is having on our life.

I feel so guilty feeling this way, almost selfish but if I know what I’m dealing with I could be more understanding. I get so cross because I don’t know if he just being lazy and expecting me to store everything in my head or it’s genuine. I feel like a walking diary and constantly repeating dates, times and instructions and this is a struggle as I’m going through all the menopause symptoms , suffer with anxiety and depression.

Family and close friends seem to think it’s’just his age’ (he is 62) and he has scored really well on the cognitive test but they’re not living with it day to day.

Has anyone else experienced the feelings I’m feeling at the moment. I’m I a horrible person😔

 

[canary]

I can totally understand your wish for a diagnosis and no, it doesnt make you a bad person.

I didnt find this forum until my mum had received a diagnosis and she was well into mid-stage by then. I wished I had found it earlier

 

[Bay Tree]

Don't feel selfish or guilty, you aren't alone in worrying about a diagnosis. My husband was initially diagnosed with MCI - though I felt sure he had dementia. A year down the line and he received a diagnosis of Alzheimer's. Strangely, once he had the diagnosis, I almost breathed a sigh of relief as I then felt I knew what we were dealing with. Your concerns are very valid but hopefully your husband won't have a diagnosis of dementia. If this is the case then may be there are other issues/conditions that are causing the problems you are aware of and it gives you the opportunity to investigate these. If it is dementia then I'm sure you will find the forum a good place to be with lots of information and supportive people.

 

[PennyMcK]

So we have had a great diagnosis that the mri scan of hubby’s brain is all good but there is still an issue here that needs to be investigated. The specialist he saw was lovely but kept asking us want next steps we would like to take. We have know idea so why is he asking us this. My husband had a full mot on bloods and they were fine. We almost feels like frauds and time wasters but this is real he just isn’t remembering things. Has anyone any thoughts as what out next steps should be? Surely the medics should be advising us. We’re so confused 🫤

 

[RM3]

Hi, @PennyMcK. I am at a similar stage to yourself.
My husband is 59 and I have had concerns on and off for 18 months to 2 years.
First time around (about 19 months ago), after seeing the GP (which my husband thought was a bit ridiculous), he had a private MRI. This was all clear and had hoped for an explanation for the changes.
I felt embarrassed for pushing my husband in to it and he was embarrassed too.
We didn’t mention it again. Then, he started a new job last October in engineering (work he has done for over 40 years). This has really highlighted some major difficulties (ones that he would not have had previously). There has been other things as well that I have noticed.
I eventually managed to persuade him to go back the GP about a month ago (he now thinks himself that there is something not right).
He had a CT scan last week and has an appointment at the memory clinic in 2 weeks.
I completely understand everything you say. I know that he is different (so does he). Whilst the all clear would be good, it would not give answers. More people know this time too and I feel so conflicted over what I want the outcome to be.
Just wanted to let you know that others understand and have similar experiences. Best wishes with everything x

 

[Bevhar]

Hi, i’m new to the forum and wanted to day hello.

I’m not sure if me joining is premature as my husband hasn’t had a diagnoses yet but he has had an MRI scan last week and we are waiting for the follow up appointment.

It sounds weird for me to say this but my worst fear is of getting inconclusive results. Of course I don’t want him to have a positive diagnoses but I need to have answers of why his memory is so bad and the impact it is having on our life.

I feel so guilty feeling this way, almost selfish but if I know what I’m dealing with I could be more understanding. I get so cross because I don’t know if he just being lazy and expecting me to store everything in my head or it’s genuine. I feel like a walking diary and constantly repeating dates, times and instructions and this is a struggle as I’m going through all the menopause symptoms , suffer with anxiety and depression.

Family and close friends seem to think it’s’just his age’ (he is 62) and he has scored really well on the cognitive test but they’re not living with it day to day.

Has anyone else experienced the feelings I’m feeling at the moment. I’m I a horrible person😔

I understand totally My husband has always been muddled & forgetful so I didn’t notice at first my daughter mentioned it & my sister in law After tests and a spect scan we were told he had mild cognitive impairment but things hot worse & finally we got an Alzheimers diagnosis I wish this would have been earlier so my husband could go on medication something I’m still fighting for Glad you have found this forum I’ve found it a lifeline

 

[Bevhar]

So we have had a great diagnosis that the mri scan of hubby’s brain is all good but there is still an issue here that needs to be investigated. The specialist he saw was lovely but kept asking us want next steps we would like to take. We have know idea so why is he asking us this. My husband had a full mot on bloods and they were fine. We almost feels like frauds and time wasters but this is real he just isn’t remembering things. Has anyone any thoughts as what out next steps should be? Surely the medics should be advising us. We’re so confused 🫤

My husband had an MRI that was clear I was lucky my doctor pushed for the spect scan Please don’t feel bad about things It’s tough not knowing what’s going on I hate myself most days for being impatient but sometimes I can’t help it I still love my husband dearly but some days are harder than others

 

[Bevhar]

Hi, @PennyMcK. I am at a similar stage to yourself.
My husband is 59 and I have had concerns on and off for 18 months to 2 years.
First time around (about 19 months ago), after seeing the GP (which my husband thought was a bit ridiculous), he had a private MRI. This was all clear and had hoped for an explanation for the changes.
I felt embarrassed for pushing my husband in to it and he was embarrassed too.
We didn’t mention it again. Then, he started a new job last October in engineering (work he has done for over 40 years). This has really highlighted some major difficulties (ones that he would not have had previously). There has been other things as well that I have noticed.
I eventually managed to persuade him to go back the GP about a month ago (he now thinks himself that there is something not right).
He had a CT scan last week and has an appointment at the memory clinic in 2 weeks.
I completely understand everything you say. I know that he is different (so does he). Whilst the all clear would be good, it would not give answers. More people know this time too and I feel so conflicted over what I want the outcome to be.
Just wanted to let you know that others understand and have similar experiences. Best wishes with everything x

Hope your weekend has been a good one How’s your husband been Take care xx

 

[PennyMcK]

Thank you all for your supportive responses they are very much appreciated. We were given a choice of a CT scan or an MRI but was guided towards the MRI scan as being a better choice. One of you lovely people mentioned a spect scan which something we haven’t heard of or in fact has not been mentioned- how does this differ from other scans?

We now have been referred to a neuropsychologist. I had to laugh as memory clinic called my husband and explained why they were making this referral but by the time the message was to be relayed to me and I was asking questions my husband had forgotten what they said so we are going to this appointment a bit blind as to what to expect. It’s come to the point where I daren’t go to ‘dr google’ as it only leads to extreme anxiety.

I too dearly love my husband but sometimes it feels as though I’m in ground hog day lol🤪

 

[Kevinl]

More than welcome and a hello from me too. K