Hello everyone


Registered User
Dec 27, 2007
Hello everyone, I have just joined. Let me introduce myself, my name is Marion, I am 59, female and care for my partner who is 76. I myself am disabled tooand am finding life a very rough ride at the moment, coming to terms with being a carer etc. I am not doing a very good job!!

blue sea

Registered User
Aug 24, 2005
Hello Marion. Welcome to TP. I'm sure you will find great support here. It's incredibly hard being a carer, and to compound this you have your own disability. Are you getting support from social services? You are entitled to an assessment of your own needs as a carer.
Blue sea

Kate P

Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
Hi Spottydog and welcome to TP.

I'm sure you're doing a much better job than you realise - that fact that you're doing it is achievement in itself!

How long has your partner been diagnosed? Have you had a Carer's assessment from Social Services?

Kate P

Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
I think the best route is to ask your consultant to refer you.

You can refer yourself but it isn't treated as priority because the consultant didn't refer you - at least that's what happened with us.


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi Marion, welcome to TP.

I agree with Kate, it's better if you have a referral. But you can do that through your local branch of Alzheimer's Society, or Princess Royal Trust. In fact, it would be a good idea to contact both, as they provide different support.

Make sure that as well as assessing your husband, you also get a carer's assessment for yourself. They can do both at the same time, and the carer's assessment means that you get someone to stay with your husband, or take him out, while you get some time to yourself.

Good luck,

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hello Marion.

If you have been caring 24/7 for two years without any outside imput, I don`t see how you can feel you are not doing a good job.

Full time caring completely takes over your life and tests you to the limit.

Your GP or consultant should refer you to Social Services who will assess you and your partner, and tell you what help is available. You will be directed towards support groups and day care, if it is considered appropriate.

And please feel free to off load on TP. We are all carers here and know what has happened to your lives, even without knowing the details.

Take care and try to get some help.

Love xx


Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
Hello Marion,
As a disabled person for 21 years and 5 years ago my husband was diagnoised with Alzheimer's.
The only way that I was able to cope was just support from my Doctor, Alzheimer's Society, close family and friends.
Patience by the bucketful. I would do the thinking and Peter would try to do tasks. The strain it put on me and further deterioration in my health, Carers came in on a daily basis to give me a rest.
Social Worker was not efficient and it was only down to Doctor and Consultant chasing Social Worker up that was a God send.
Does your Doctor know what you are having to deal with ? If not please see Doctor regarding yourself and it will set wheels of help in motion quicker. This is in my personnel experience.
I wish you the very best.


Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
Dear Marion,
Welcome to TP and I echo all the good advice you have received.

I encourage you to stick with TP - read the posts, add your comments, and post yourself. This is a wonderful caring community that really helps Carers.

And I too don't believe you are not doing a good job! I think we all feel like this because it (caring) is so wearing, and seems so fruitless at times. The one we love and care for may never be happy with what we do, altho' we turn ourselves inside out trying to do what they want!

But the real test is that you ARE caring, and have done so for 2 years. Time now to get some help before you wear out yourself.

Thinking of you.