Hello everyone, newbie here!

[JulesPeb]

Hi,
I’ve joined the forum as my dad has dementia and I’m struggling with how to cope. My dad has gone from a kind, gentle man to a nasty, aggressive person that I don’t recognise. I think I’m feeling grief at the loss of the dad I knew, while still trying to care for him.
He is at the stage where he still understands sometimes what’s happening to him, which causes a lot of frustration for him, which in turn makes him more angry and aggressive.
Having had no previous experience with dementia this is all new to me so i thought I would join this forum to connect with others going through the same experience.
Nice to meet you all!
Julie

 

[jennifer1967]

Hi,
I’ve joined the forum as my dad has dementia and I’m struggling with how to cope. My dad has gone from a kind, gentle man to a nasty, aggressive person that I don’t recognise. I think I’m feeling grief at the loss of the dad I knew, while still trying to care for him.
He is at the stage where he still understands sometimes what’s happening to him, which causes a lot of frustration for him, which in turn makes him more angry and aggressive.
Having had no previous experience with dementia this is all new to me so i thought I would join this forum to connect with others going through the same experience.
Nice to meet you all!
Julie

hello, have you told the gp to see what they can suggest? have you done a power of attorney for finance and health? i found that was useful and gives him a voice making it easier for him. have you sorted benefits he might be entitled to? age uk or cab are good for information

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @JulesPeb and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. I am so sorry to read about the changes that you are seeing in your dad, unfortunately these can be quite common in someone who has dementia. If you have not already done so please speak to your dad's GP or the memory clinic to see if they will prescribe some medication for him, there are meds which are good at reducing agitation and aggression in a person with dementia.
@jennifer1967 has given you some good advice about things to put into place. I would also suggest contacting your local social services to arrange a needs assessment for your dad and a carers assessment for yourself.
Please keep posting on the forum, you will find lots of help, advice and empathy here.

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @JulesPeb.

I’m sorry to read about your dad. It must be so hard for you.

I agree with Jennifer that you need to contact your dad‘s GP and set out your concern - it might be best to send them in writing. Even if you don‘t have POA then the GP will be able to take your concerns into account.

If your dad is physically aggressive it’s important that you keep yourself safe. Make sure that you have a mobile phone to hand and are able to take yourself to another room if possible if your dad does get physically aggressive.

 

[JulesPeb]

hello, have you told the gp to see what they can suggest? have you done a power of attorney for finance and health? i found that was useful and gives him a voice making it easier for him. have you sorted benefits he might be entitled to? age uk or cab are good for information

Thank you, we have sorted PoA which has made things easier. I’ve found things very slow with the GP, but have found a community nurse who has pushed for some medication for him. Hoping that makes a difference and makes things easier for him.

 

[JulesPeb]

Hello @JulesPeb and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. I am so sorry to read about the changes that you are seeing in your dad, unfortunately these can be quite common in someone who has dementia. If you have not already done so please speak to your dad's GP or the memory clinic to see if they will prescribe some medication for him, there are meds which are good at reducing agitation and aggression in a person with dementia.
@jennifer1967 has given you some good advice about things to put into place. I would also suggest contacting your local social services to arrange a needs assessment for your dad and a carers assessment for yourself.
Please keep posting on the forum, you will find lots of help, advice and empathy here.

Thank you, in the short time I’ve been on here I already don’t feel alone, as I have been doing. Getting some great advice.

 

[JulesPeb]

Welcome to the forum @JulesPeb.

I’m sorry to read about your dad. It must be so hard for you.

I agree with Jennifer that you need to contact your dad‘s GP and set out your concern - it might be best to send them in writing. Even if you don‘t have POA then the GP will be able to take your concerns into account.

If your dad is physically aggressive it’s important that you keep yourself safe. Make sure that you have a mobile phone to hand and are able to take yourself to another room if possible if your dad does get physically aggressive.

Thank you, dad isn’t physically aggressive, just verbally so far. He has been prescribed some medication so we’re hoping that helps to calm him.