Addiscombegirl
Registered User
My Mum has dementia. Alzheimer's.
She is becoming verbally very aggressive and very depressed. Abuse is at bedtime. It is like a monster takes her over as soon as her show her to the room she is sleeping in, whilst temporarily staying with me.
Had three stays in two months. I can't cope with her. Also, my brother who lives with her but not involved with care has had enough and wants to leave. He avoids talking to her.
She stayed over Christmas but had a chest infection, so extended stay. And building work starts in two days. So, no rest from her. She is staying around my house as she is having building work in hers and gets triggered rowing with people. Work needs doing eg. central heating put in as she is always cold and a bathroom where she can shower via large shower. I have two weeks of hell.
She has carers when at home but we don't have any when she stays with us and I am struggling. I can't leave a room for more than ten minutes. My husband says she is stressing him out as he suffers from anxiety. But he thinks respite isn't a good idea.
I have two questions:-
1) Does respite in a care home work. My husband say no. But I really can't take not having sleep.
2) Has anyone successfully been able to get medication prescribed to help with mood via their GP. Mine has referred me to memory clinic but I have been waiting at month.
3) Can anyone recommend a consultant I can take my Mum to see re. private consultation for my Mum as can't wait any longer. She is so argumentative and depressed.
Background
Mum can't remember more than five minutes ago what she did. She asks the same questions and has been like this for two years. She get argumentative and hard to talk to some time. I seem mostly to be able to chat with her but she seems to like to argue with my husband and siblings. She is ok with carers.
Last few months, Mum OCD she has always had with tidying is worse. She can't stand anything out of order and obsessed with folding things.
Mum is worse at night shouting and ranting for hours about the state of everything. Saying it is filthy, I am disgusting and not showing her respect. It is so loud, I am starting to worry my neighbours will start complaining a week non-stop.
I am having to let her rant, the way you try and sleep train a baby. She doesn't drink but sounds like a drunken person ranting. She gets personal. There is nothing I can do but let her rant. This goes on for hours - up to three hours. I have to hide downstairs and sleep on the sofa and ignore her calling me. I am frightened if she sees me she will start shouting more. Last night she tried to get into my bedroom to inspect it as feels I am giving her a bad room.
She is having my husband and I's room and I am sleeping in the spare room. We have another room but we can't finish the wooden floor as my Mum calls me every five minutes. We were going to put her in here, but we had to take her in last month when the temperatures dropped as she was too cold in her house, so we didn't get to finish the room we were going to put her in.
She went back home but care was messed up, so we had to do the care for her and commute 2 hours each way every day, twice a day. Care issues when she goes home, but I have two weeks of this.
My husband says putting her in care home for respite wouldn't be a good idea. As she will be too confused. He says we should only put here in one when she is staying.
I am sleeping on the sofa as me going into Mum wakes up my husband and I can't cope hearing Mum's ranting.
My place isn't the tidy polished article. I bought the house before Mum's dementia, we are doing the work ourselves and has been a five year project. We often have to stop doing things on our house to sort Mum out re. care cover, things on her house, constant disruptions. So, we are not slobs etc. With Mum and work, doing the house up is hard.
She is becoming verbally very aggressive and very depressed. Abuse is at bedtime. It is like a monster takes her over as soon as her show her to the room she is sleeping in, whilst temporarily staying with me.
Had three stays in two months. I can't cope with her. Also, my brother who lives with her but not involved with care has had enough and wants to leave. He avoids talking to her.
She stayed over Christmas but had a chest infection, so extended stay. And building work starts in two days. So, no rest from her. She is staying around my house as she is having building work in hers and gets triggered rowing with people. Work needs doing eg. central heating put in as she is always cold and a bathroom where she can shower via large shower. I have two weeks of hell.
She has carers when at home but we don't have any when she stays with us and I am struggling. I can't leave a room for more than ten minutes. My husband says she is stressing him out as he suffers from anxiety. But he thinks respite isn't a good idea.
I have two questions:-
1) Does respite in a care home work. My husband say no. But I really can't take not having sleep.
2) Has anyone successfully been able to get medication prescribed to help with mood via their GP. Mine has referred me to memory clinic but I have been waiting at month.
3) Can anyone recommend a consultant I can take my Mum to see re. private consultation for my Mum as can't wait any longer. She is so argumentative and depressed.
Background
Mum can't remember more than five minutes ago what she did. She asks the same questions and has been like this for two years. She get argumentative and hard to talk to some time. I seem mostly to be able to chat with her but she seems to like to argue with my husband and siblings. She is ok with carers.
Last few months, Mum OCD she has always had with tidying is worse. She can't stand anything out of order and obsessed with folding things.
Mum is worse at night shouting and ranting for hours about the state of everything. Saying it is filthy, I am disgusting and not showing her respect. It is so loud, I am starting to worry my neighbours will start complaining a week non-stop.
I am having to let her rant, the way you try and sleep train a baby. She doesn't drink but sounds like a drunken person ranting. She gets personal. There is nothing I can do but let her rant. This goes on for hours - up to three hours. I have to hide downstairs and sleep on the sofa and ignore her calling me. I am frightened if she sees me she will start shouting more. Last night she tried to get into my bedroom to inspect it as feels I am giving her a bad room.
She is having my husband and I's room and I am sleeping in the spare room. We have another room but we can't finish the wooden floor as my Mum calls me every five minutes. We were going to put her in here, but we had to take her in last month when the temperatures dropped as she was too cold in her house, so we didn't get to finish the room we were going to put her in.
She went back home but care was messed up, so we had to do the care for her and commute 2 hours each way every day, twice a day. Care issues when she goes home, but I have two weeks of this.
My husband says putting her in care home for respite wouldn't be a good idea. As she will be too confused. He says we should only put here in one when she is staying.
I am sleeping on the sofa as me going into Mum wakes up my husband and I can't cope hearing Mum's ranting.
My place isn't the tidy polished article. I bought the house before Mum's dementia, we are doing the work ourselves and has been a five year project. We often have to stop doing things on our house to sort Mum out re. care cover, things on her house, constant disruptions. So, we are not slobs etc. With Mum and work, doing the house up is hard.
