Hello all

[katykatems]

Hi all,

I've been silently drawing well needed support and info from this forum for the past few months, and tonight is the night I've decided to register, to start sharing my worries and connect with a community that understands this horrendous web of chaos.

I'm Kate, and my Mum was diagnosed with mixed dementia last May. Vascular and Alzheimer's. I have a partner and 2 young children. I'm really struggling now with the stress of everything, hence it's time to get involved here.

Best wishes to you all
Kate

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome @katykatems

I`m sure you`ll get lots of help and support here. We all know what the struggles are and will be happy to share.

 

[Angelsoul]

Hi Kate,
My mum was also diagnosed last may with vascular dementia/ alzeimers.
I'm finding it very hard too. My children are young adults so I have it easier than you in that respect. Do you have any support from family/ carers? X

 

[scotlass]

Hi Kate ,anything that worries you , any info you need, there's always someone here that will give you advice...

 

[katykatems]

It's been a whirlwind with Mum refusing any care whatsoever up until last Summer when we persuaded her to accept 2 care calls a day of just half an hour each - by September she needed 24/7 care. She went through about 7 live in carers who were supplemented by day sitters as Mum doesn't sleep at night but the company then served notice for live in care as it wasn't working. Since Christmas my brother has been staying with Mum Tuesday to Friday with carers in his absence but he has mental health problems and reached breaking point as of Easter week. So now Mum has a day and night sit 7 days a week and it's burning through her savings like wild fire. She'll have none left in about 2 months time and will have no option but to move to a care home but is absolutely adamant that she will never leave her house.

I'm waiting for Social Services to get back to me regarding a financial assessment and Best Interest Meeting. I'm so worried as I don't understand what will happen next. Finding time for all the various phone calls whilst looking after the children and trying to process my feelings about everything is just so hard!

 

[DaftDad]

@katykatems I'm fairly new here too, reached out because I had similarly reached a breaking point. I also have young children and work FT, living over an hour from my Dad so I know how hard it is. Dad has mainly vascular dementia, they've assumed some Alzheimer's but have nothing to prove it (scans or whatever).

Dad is also a care refuser, tonight he tried to refuse his evening medication and the carer had to call me to talk to him and calm him down. I have no idea what the solution is for the refusal because we're just treading water and trying to do the minimum to make sure he's reasonably safe.

I've found it really cathartic to scream into the ether here and to find out that other families have similar experiences and challenges. It means we're not alone, however much we might feel it.


Sending you all the very best at this horrible time for you and your family ❤️

 

[katykatems]

@katykatems I'm fairly new here too, reached out because I had similarly reached a breaking point. I also have young children and work FT, living over an hour from my Dad so I know how hard it is. Dad has mainly vascular dementia, they've assumed some Alzheimer's but have nothing to prove it (scans or whatever).

Dad is also a care refuser, tonight he tried to refuse his evening medication and the carer had to call me to talk to him and calm him down. I have no idea what the solution is for the refusal because we're just treading water and trying to do the minimum to make sure he's reasonably safe.

I've found it really cathartic to scream into the ether here and to find out that other families have similar experiences and challenges. It means we're not alone, however much we might feel it.


Sending you all the very best at this horrible time for you and your family ❤️

@katykatems I'm fairly new here too, reached out because I had similarly reached a breaking point. I also have young children and work FT, living over an hour from my Dad so I know how hard it is. Dad has mainly vascular dementia, they've assumed some Alzheimer's but have nothing to prove it (scans or whatever).

Dad is also a care refuser, tonight he tried to refuse his evening medication and the carer had to call me to talk to him and calm him down. I have no idea what the solution is for the refusal because we're just treading water and trying to do the minimum to make sure he's reasonably safe.

I've found it really cathartic to scream into the ether here and to find out that other families have similar experiences and challenges. It means we're not alone, however much we might feel it.


Sending you all the very best at this horrible time for you and your family ❤️

Hi @DaftDad and thanks for your solidarity.

I'm feeling really overwhelmed this week. I need to put together a post to see if I can find direction from others who have experienced the same, and like you say, it will likely help to feel heard because one of the hardest things on this journey so far is how invisible I feel.

Best to you and your family too. I hope you've had a relatively stress free week.

 

[katykatems]

Hi Kate ,anything that worries you , any info you need, there's always someone here that will give you advice...

Thank you so much ❤️

 

[jennifer1967]

have you asked for care assessment for your mum and carer assessment for the carer. this is a good place to share