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Registered User
Mar 23, 2017
Today is mums 87th Birthday and she didn't have s clue. She has been awake more today still won't eat but more cheerful. I have done nothing but cry most of the day I hate what this awful disease has done to her and I hate watching her fade away before my eyes. I don't sleep as I know any day she won't wake up I know she would hate it if she could see herself now but i want my mum to hug me and tell me it's going to be ok.

Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
I think things like Christmas and birthdays really bring home the changes. Usually things change slowly and you dont really notice, but at times like this you can remember what they did last year.
The first year that Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimers we could still book the church hall and invite people to a party for her 90th birthday. We brought her armchair and she held court, laughing and talking to everyone. The next year she could not cope with so many people and had trouble being outside her care home, so we reserved the "quiet" lounge in her care home and family came over for cake and champagne. She blew out the candles on her cake, but needed help to open her presents. Last year it was just me and her friend in her room. We had tea and a slice of cake. I gave her a present, unwrapped, in a sparkly bag so that she just had to take the present out, but even that was beyond her. She had no idea it was her birthday, even after we had sung Happy Birthday. It is so sad.


Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
hi Debjac
sending you a blanket of sympathy to wrap yourself in

when I miss my mum (died 11 years ago), I find a photo of her smiling and determinedly remember that good moment; it cannot bring her back, it does return a smile to my face as I grin back at her - with dad (living in a care home 2 years now), I remember one of the outings we had researching family history and how we sat together quiet and companionable; makes it easier to sit with him now in his dementia silence as I know he's more content in my company
and when I need a hug, I put on a cardigan of mum's that I just couldn't part with; not the same but the whisper of her spirit is there
best wishes