Hi everyone and apologies that I've not replied here or to anyone sooner.
I've been battling, and still am major depression which the GP now has me on various drugs to try and control.
Dad, sadly has deteriorated since my last posting here; he is slowly becoming non verbal, sometimes I try and speak to him and he won't reply, and I ask a few times something and it takes 3 or 4 times before he'll respond, he claims this is because he can't hear me although each time I've spoken loudly, so believe he is attempting to hide his symptoms.
The other very concerning thing is that he isn't eating very much anymore, maybe less than 500 calories a day.
No matter what I try, he won't eat it, I've got him crisps, chips, meat, to cakes, chocolate etc and he won't have any of it.
I suspect it's due to a swallowing issue he won't disclose, as lately he randomly chokes on fluids and foods, which he never did before.
I've had to tap his back many times to stop him choking, he goes red during it.
I'm convinced he has lost weight but being how he is, refuses to tell me his weight so will need to wait until the next GP appointment.
We've gone from having long daily discussions, to him becoming withdrawn, saying to call him tomorrow and then tomorrow comes and this cycle goes on, with few words and I constantly have to keep the conversation going.
He appears very depressed also, and I am spending nights with him at present and he is walking around early hours of the morning asking when are we going out, at 6am for example!
He has been randomly falling to sleep recently too, outside as well when we go out.
I really am putting a face on, and it's only because of the drugs they've put me on I'm still here as this is so painful to watch, and I am scared we are moving into late stage already, probably his Vascular Dementia rather which I'm aware worsens at a faster rate.
He has also been complaining of chest pains the last few weeks but refuses any GP care, I've told him I'm worried but he said he doesn't want anymore medical intervention, I will respect his wishes but keep checking his wishes remain such way.
Finally, he is losing capacity possibly as his financial handling has got much worser than 6 months ago, he keeps thinking his money has gone missing but I've checked and shown him it hasn't, yet the next day we have the same debate until it again is settled then a few days pass and he refuses to believe I am right.
I'm lost, because as much as I hate to say it, I'm in denial he is slipping away from me, I guess I'm living with my heads in the clouds hoping he one day will be back to himself again, I know in my heart that won't happen but I have nothing else to hold on too.
He hate three mouthfuls today of his dinner, left the rest, I feel guilty for even eating when he can't because of whatever symptoms he suffers with this cruel disease.
Sorry for the long post, I hope everyone is keeping well and sending my love.