Have I lost my husband

[K47t]

I got in from work last evening, and out of the blue my husband asked me if I was going to be getting married.
Told him no, I am already married....to him
He said I could not be married to him he was too old for me to be married to him
We have an age gap of 24 years.
This has never bothered him before, but I am wondering if I am losing him to this disease?
Hurt and extremely sad.
I can't wrap him in cotton wool but I wish I could.
How can I explain that yes we really are married? I tried showing him one of our wedding photos, but although he could name every one in the photo, he still would not believe we are married.

 

[Rishile]

I know exactly how you are feeling because this was the first major incident I had with my husband. He claimed he didn't even know my name 'because we hadn't been introduced'. I really panicked because I thought this was going to be permanent but it wasn't. An hour or so later he knew me and that we were married.

We still have incidents like this and it's mostly when he is tired. If I have the time and inclination, I will sit calmly with him and tell him about our wedding day, talk about our parents (all long gone, sadly), show him the photos and recall things we have done, holidays, days out etc. This usually works but sometimes (you have to judge) he just wants to sleep so that's all I can do. When he wakes up, he usually remembers me again.

Don't force the memories and try not to get upset about what he is saying (not easy) as he will pick up on your distress and it will get worse.

My husband threw me a curve-ball the other day but saying his wife passed away. I know I didn't and I see the proof in the mirror but a few conversations got to the bottom of this comment.

 

[maisiecat]

Hi @K47t , I know how sad this is because it happened to me last year but now my husband remembers me and our children again. If its a sudden change check he hasn't got an infection of any kind often a UTI will precipitate more confusion.
My husband has Parkisons dementia and vascular dementia and it is the vascular dementia I associate this with as he throws off small strokes. It may be your husband needs a medication review.

 

[leny connery]

I got in from work last evening, and out of the blue my husband asked me if I was going to be getting married.
Told him no, I am already married....to him
He said I could not be married to him he was too old for me to be married to him
We have an age gap of 24 years.
This has never bothered him before, but I am wondering if I am losing him to this disease?
Hurt and extremely sad.
I can't wrap him in cotton wool but I wish I could.
How can I explain that yes we really are married? I tried showing him one of our wedding photos, but although he could name every one in the photo, he still would not believe we are married.

I am still learning not to be upset, and just to let it ride. It is hard, though, and I still 'lost it' sometimes despite knowing it is no good, for me or for him. Flipping and flopping between being me and being his mum, with no patterns, rhyme or reason every day or night, mentally is hard, but there is nothing for it but soldier on