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Has someone put a curse on me!


Registered User
Sep 13, 2012
Got Mum booked in for respite for the first time today - comes home Tuesday week. She doesn't want to go so I tell her she's going for an assessment for the day. She needed transport to pick her up cause she can't climb down the 26 stairs. On Friday I start feeling unwell so to cut a long story short rang surgery to speak to duty doctor this morning and told to go round straightaway. I have throat and chest infection, my throat is hell - so painful! Followed the transport in my car because I've got Mum's case that needed hiding from her and as soon as she got there she sad she felt ill and she's dying! She'd be kicking off all morning when I told her she's got to go just for the day (I'm such a liar). Anyhow just rung the home she's as miserable as sin after being shown her room but that's no surprise to me! It's my birthday tomorrow and am going out for a meal with my chap even though at the moment all I feel like doing is going to bed to be honest (sorry that sounds a bit naughty, I mean cause I feel ill). I'm glad she's gone to the CH because I feel so bl***dy awful at the moment I wouldn't have been a struggle to care for her anyway. Last time I had just 3 days off with extra carers coming in I got food poisoning the first day of my break. Someone up there must hate me!


Registered User
Jan 17, 2014
I sueshell and happy birthday for tomorrow. You make the most of it while your mums away, and being looked after. Hope you feel better for your birthday, you sound like you need this break.lindaxx


Registered User
Jul 29, 2013
North East
It sounds to me like you have got ill every time you get a break. I tend to do the same. I work loads of hours and only have 3 weeks holiday a year (I'm self employed) I can't possibly be poorly when I have my work to do (the same as you with your mums caring) so your body seems to save it up for when you get time off.

Totally unfair! I do hope you feel much better soon.

Maybe the only real answer is to get regular time off. Regular respite for a week. Something like every 6 weeks. That way you are bound to get at least one week where you are not poorly!!!



Registered User
Feb 21, 2014
Hi SueShell I agree with Suzy if your body is crashing every time you get a break, then it sounds like you are pushing yourself too hard in between. Be kind to yourself & try to take a bit more regular time out. That way you can be the best carer you can but also enjoy your own personal time too.

Have a lovely birthday & I hope you feel better soon :D


Registered User
Sep 13, 2012
Hating it!

Rang CH and Mum is really down and hating every minute of it! No doubt I'll get it in the ear when I collect her in a week's time. just as well she's there though as I'm ill anyhow and not capable of caring for her, and when I woke up this morning it was like I'd been sleeping in a bath so had to strip the bed and go and have a good soak in the bath. Feel bit better today so looks like the antibiotics are kicking in.

Don't know what other people's experiences are of putting their nearest and dearest into a CH but I feel like cancelling the other respite dates. Think I'll wait and see what she's like when I go and see her next Tuesday.

My Birthday today is a non-starter as boyfriend rang me at 7 this morning to tell me he too is off to doctor's and shivering and feeling dreadful so no nice meal out today for me!

Miss Merlot

Registered User
Oct 15, 2012
Hi SueShell,

I also feel am living under a curse - see my poem "Are you there God" over in the poetry section...

I have no words of advice other than wine and sleeping tablets to get through each day one at a time...

MM x

Tilly Mint

Registered User
Jun 14, 2011
I hope you are soon feeling better. I have to say I've given up on respite. It's actually less stressful caring for my mum myself. The first one mum went to was great but that got closed in the cuts so from then on we were forced to try private ones and unfortunately it's been one problem after another, so much so that if I put mum anywhere now I'd be worrying about how they were looking after her.
I wouldn't get a minutes peace whereas when she's here with me I know she's getting A1 care and I can sit in the garden to relax when I need to.

There are good care homes but I've probably been unlucky and it's destroyed my trust.

We need to take breaks as and when we can whether this be as a result of respite or smaller breaks during a day or a treat here and there.