Our mother has end stage dementia and has been in a care home for 15 months. she had a fall 2 weeks ago and, after a half hip replacement, is now ready to return to her care home. When we first took her there we were assured that, although they are categorized as a care home, she would be there for life and they can accommodate end of life care. We were told the only thing would be if she had a stroke and then she would have to be admitted to hospital.
Now she is ready for hospital discharge the care home have suddenly said they will not have her back. We spent 2 hours today in a meeting with them trying to understand their reasoning but kept being told that we should not have been informed originally that she could stay there and her challenging behaviour means she needs more 1:1 care, which they have been giving but cannot now!
This is the only place our mum knows now, she loves the carers and knows the environment. We believe if they send her away it will a death sentence because she will not be able to cope with the change.
We are also very worried about where will take her, although privately funded she can be challenging and we don't know which way to turn. Any advice appreciated.
Does your mum have a social worker? If yes talk to him/her, if not talk to the hospital social worker about an emergency Continuing Healthcare assessment. You will need to be VERY FORCEFUL with them as they hold the purse strings and hate to let go of any money! This assessment will assess whether your mum meets the criteria to move to a funded NH that can deal with her needs. Alternatively you may be able to get an agreement that the care home will take her back if the district nurse visits a few times a day and that other carers can also go in to support her medical and behavioural needs. This could be funded through CHC or self funded.
If the CH refuse to take her back you may be put under pressure to take her home until another" suitable place " can be found. One of the hardest things you may have to do is refuse to do this, while she is in hospital they have a duty to ensure she is placed appropriately for her needs. If you take her home they relinquish that responsibility!
I really hope that you can get some backup in this matter and that your mum can return to the home she is so comfortable in..