Has anyone else experienced this?

[maryw]

Just wanted to say I found Jennifer's dream very interesting and somehow therapeutic and consoling that the subconscious continues to deal with the past in its own unique way. We all have very different and individual experiences of loss and it is good to share.

 

[EcoGeek]

Shortly before my mum died, and since then I quite frequently have been having two types of dream about her.
the first type is one where either she is in the care home or the hospital and has 'escaped' some how (and considering how wily she was about getting her dinner into the bin this wouldn't have suprised me) and since she is home again I have to care for her/the hospital or care home won't take her back.
the other version of this dream is based on something that actually happened and its of returning home to find her gone (or waking up to find her gone) and the ensuing panic of trying to find her.
I can only assume that these dreams are to do with my residual anxiety from last summer when I was caring for her full time and hopefully these will lessen with time, although I don't find them so disturbing since her death possibly because some part of my brain is aware that she is safe now.

the second type of dream I keep having (and is the reason why I am awake at this time of night despite being tired and I think is the sort of thing tenderface was referring too)
I'll dream that my mother is back, and well and whole again, and we do some inconsequential humdrum task together, like washing the dishes or cleaning out the cat litter, and I'll feel so happy that she's back and so at peace... until I wake up at which point I realise it was just a dream and feel utterly distraught.

Can someone tell me if they have experienced these types of dreams and how long they found they lasted after the loved ones death (I know everyone grieves differently but I'm just hoping for a rough idea)

love to all
ecogeek

 

[jenniferpa]

Well generally, in my dreams my mother is fine. Old, yes, but not ill. It is now 2 1/2 years since she died and now, when I wake up, I am not upset, but it's only been in the last year or so that I have felt that way.

 

[Tender Face]

I'll dream that my mother is back, and well and whole again, and we do some inconsequential humdrum task together,

Egogeek - last night I had the most vivid dream of my mother and I going shopping together ... days when she was well ... we bought a blouse (in the dream) and God help me when I opened my wardrobe this morning I expected it to be there ......

I really don't know the answer .. I just know in my case dreams are generally 'kinder' (19 months on now) but I do know that feeling of a sense of 'repeated loss' when the happier memories come through in dreams and you wake to have to process again that that is all it was ....

Love, Karen, x