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Hard work


Registered User
Oct 6, 2015
Hi I'm a carer for my 93 year old mum who has vascular dementia she was diagnosed 4 years ago but has shown signs isf dementia for about 3 years before.
I gave up work we sold both houses and bought one together so I could look after her full time .we had 3 years where mum never slept for more than the odd hour at night and we would have to get up and stop her getting dressed ,going to work or make a drink at every hour through the night but now she sleeps which helps but she's gone downhill so much it's scary.shes lost weight and eats very little , started toileting on the floor in the toilet and hardly ever talks any more . When she does talk it doesn't make sense most of the time. She has also started continuously chewing and licking her lips. I don't drive and mum can only go out in a wheelchair so we used to go out with the dog walking but now the toilet issues have stopped that.i never go out any more and we have been in the process of moving house for the past 4 months as my husbands job has moved.
I feel totally exhausted with it all and so terribly sad that I've lost my mum the way she was and this cruel disease is just awful.
I'm sorry if I sound like a right moaner I guess I'm just feeling fed up and. Constantly sad to see my lovely independent mum like this and getting worse each day and I can't do anything to make it better .


Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
Hi Boris. welcome to TP
We're all in the same boat although moving house is a nightmare I'm still bracing myself for. Don't worry about moaning it's not the easiest lifestyle being a carer but we all do it and still have a little bit of spare care left over for you.


Registered User
May 22, 2015
Just wanted to send you a hug. I'm so sorry and know how tough it is. An impending house move is not without stress for you and I'm sure that's not helping at all. Re the dog walking and taking Mum out in the wheelchair, that is something I do with my Mum as I have five dogs (did have six but sadly lost one recently). I wondered if you could get some Tena pull ups for your Mum so you can still go out and enjoy your walks and not feel so hemmed in. My Mum enjoys coming out with mine and it would give you both a change of scene and the fresh air would do you both good too. Xxx