1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. Chum

    Chum Registered User

    Oct 29, 2014
    Advice needed, I haven't been here for a while because with the support of my family I have managed to keep things in perspective. Now my husband who has multiple complications ( COPD, artiel fibrulation, Diabetes 2, high blood pressure ) is sleeping most of the day and night, My children are being as supportive as they can, and I could not wish for more from them
    We have the end of life care at home plan in place, my Dr and District nurses are so supportive I Could not wish for more, but as I sit here and watch him sleeping all day and then awake for an hour bed and apart from going to to toilet he is sleeping. He is on oxygen 24 hrs if not his stats now drop to 67, for the first time tonight I cannot get him awake enough to have something to eat....... He is not in any discomfort, just want me to leave him to sleep
    Has anyone her had this experience, and can give me some advice
    Thank you
  2. rafferty

    rafferty Registered User

    Dec 27, 2011
    Sorry i have no experience but i didn't want to just read and move on . i am sure somebody will be along with some good advice soon . Meanwhile i would just like you to know that you , your husband and your family are in my thoughts
  3. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    I'm sorry you're going through this.
    I have with my mum. We just left her be & moistened her mouth.
  4. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    Sleep seems to be nature taking over. Hard to watch but if he is peaceful then the right thing for him. I sat with my brother in law at this stage some years ago and it was an unbelievably calm ending.

    God bless.
  5. Chum

    Chum Registered User

    Oct 29, 2014
    Thank you for your support it really does help, it has been a real roller coaster this past 4 years, our GP says if she could bottle and sell what keeps him going, she would make a fortune
  6. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    North East England
    Sit with him, hold his hand,talk to him, laugh, sing and chatter with the family...it is good to hear the daily sounds going on.
    When Mum died in her care home at dawn, I didn't close her door tightly. One of the laundry girls came to me later, in tears. She was worried that her telling a joke in the corridor might have offended me, she hadn't realised Mum was gone..... I didn't need them to shut all the doors, stop all the clocks or give the dog a greasy bone...and yes Mr Auden, we even had a dog in the home...a RNIB Guide Dog:) who would have loved that.
    So while your OH can hear....let him know you are there. If he is comfortable...it will be good.

    My thoughts are with you.x.x
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Hello Chum

    Well done for keeping your husband at home.I was unable to.

    Be thankful he has no pain and is sleeping peacefully. My husband had no pain either and it was a great relief for us.

    He does not need food now, his body is winding down. Hold his hand and talk to him. He will know you are there by your touch and the sound of your voice.

    I think this time is as important as any to keep your connection strong.
  8. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    Wishing you both peace Chum, glad you have support from your GP and District Nurses, and your children. Good that you were able to post here.

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