1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. alison1981

    alison1981 Registered User

    Dec 13, 2013
    62
    My mum was diagnosed with dementia in October 2014 then after further tests she was diagnosed last month with lewy bodies dementia. She asks me who 'that man' is who is my father, her husband of 34 years. When I say to her it's Geoff she says there's about 5 Geoff's now then. She also asks where the 'littleun' has gone? There are no little ones to speak of! Is it possible that she is having hallucinations? How do I look after her when she is having them?
     
  2. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,861
    Female
    Scotland
    My husband's cousin had this form of dementia. When I asked her about it she said she could see people but knew it was not true and they were not really there. So, she told them to go away. I asked did this work and she said not really but it made her feel better.

    Agnes died in December aged 92 after many years with LB. It is not an easy one to handle.
     
  3. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,498
    Female
    England
    My husband saw people in the house and later in the nursing home. They did not appear to upset him in any way so if he saw them, we saw them too.

    I am not too sure how we would have dealt with it if they upset him other than to say I had dealt with them and told them to go and the police were going to deal with them. He had great respect for the police force so hopefully that would have helped my story along.

    Jay
     
  4. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    4,407
    Kent
    Dad saw and heard people so we soon learned not to battle confront argue contradict him.....more along the lines of ....they have gone now.....I can't see them now....he got cross about these 'people being in his house' rather than upset or agitated....a few minutes after our reply he would settle but this often repeated. Even had to be 'shown' the people....but we still said...oh perhaps they got fed up and left. By this stage he was also thinking of himself as an hallucination ie if he came back into the room asking where that man has gone...meaning him but he had forgotten he was there and had got up!
     
  5. MeganCat

    MeganCat Registered User

    Jan 29, 2013
    356
    South Wales
    Mum still does have hallucinations - usually of her little dog (who scampers around the care home) - I think she finds this comforting ( we had to rehome her dog) i go along with what she says, if she he was just sat there and now he's gone I say he'll be playing somewhere and back soon, that seems to ease her mind

    When she had her first major UTI she had a frightening hallucination however, a man was in her house threatening her, she rang me in tears - it was awful. I had tried to logically go through the fact that doors are locked, windows too so he can't be (I lived other end of the country). She would have none of it. I ended up getting my cousin to go around and check for her.
     
  6. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    3,701
    My Mil, diagnosed with mixed vascular dementia and AZ, frequently asks us where the 'little one' is - she also looks for the 'babby' and the 'little girl'. I'm not sure that she can always 'see' these children (and occasionally, the other people that she thinks have been with us - the man, that woman, the little lad) - its more she suddenly asks where they are gone, insisting they were here a few minutes ago, or have been here 'all day', so I am not sure if they are delusions or hallucinations. I do know the more confused she is, the more likely she is to go on about them and often, get upset worrying about them. Sometimes they are my kids (acording to Mil), occasionally hers, sometimes they belong to a neighbour or relative and either she or I have been looking after them. She has got worked up about them to the point, when she is sundowning, that she has accused me (or husband) of doing something 'bad' to one of these missing children - I've grown to dislike any mention of them, as I regard them as an early warning sign of her becomming agitated.

    Oddly, at hospital appointments, Mil often claims to see the little girl, usually 'running away' or 'running up and down'. When this happens, then I do think its an hallucination, as she really seems to be able to see this child, as she is speaking.

    As to the 'mulitples' (as we call them) - there are often more than one of every person in our house. Mil often talks about the 'other Ann', and the other Ann's husband, who has the same name and looks just like my husband, her son. There are multiples of her 3 grandchildren, and another house that looks exactly like this one, even down to there being a dog there that looks like and has the same name as ours. Often, she wants to know why she is here and wants to go back to her other son (my husband is her only child) and his wife, Ann, and she can get cross, wanting to know why she is being moved round all these houses that look the same. Sometimes, she will ask me a question for the second time in 5 minutes, I'll reply and she will say 'That other Ann told me that too'. She absolutely cannot see anything illogical or strange in there being several people who are not only identical in looks, but who all have the same names as each other - and though she can and will tell you that she only has one son, if you point at him and say 'Thats right - and there he is', she will say that she didn't mean him, she meant the other son. I can pick her up from day care, she will greet me by name - then remark that she thought that Ann was going to pick her up.

    Its so hard to deal with, especially when she is getting agitated. I tend to distract and avoid getting engaged in any conversation about these 'other people' or 'missing people', as in her agitation she almost seems to be looking for conflict and anything said directly about them , she can take offence at or try to turn into a row. So its 'Oh - don't worry about that now, how about a nice cup of tea', or similar. I can't say its always successful, but I've found that its the only thing that occasionally works.

    I feel for you - its a confusing and stressful thing to deal with :(
     
  7. VickyG

    VickyG Registered User

    Feb 6, 2013
    327
    Birmingham
    Delusions and Hallucinations

    Hi alison1981,

    Unfortunately, these more often than, not go along with most forms of Dementia. The brain is a very complex thing. There are medications out there to 'level' things out, especially if they become distressing for the sufferer, but most come with some form of side effects, but can be beneficial. It's about weighing up the pro's and con's.
    I know it's not easy when they happen but, I found that distraction and keeping the person occupied did work a lot of the time. Or doing something that relaxes the person, ie: doing their nails, having a bath, looking at a magazine / paper, a cuppa or something that they enjoyed.

    My Mum used to think the children were around, and would talk to them whilst I or another family member were present, often looking past us over our shoulder and would also have episodes where she couldn't 'see' them and would become very agitated and upset, thinking she was late to fetch them from school or couldn't find them. With the latter scenario, I would tell her more often than not that they were at school and I would be going to pick them up, or they had gone to bed and were tucked up fine. This usually placated her for a while, until the same question was asked again, and I would repeat.
    I found that although tiresome and it seemed to go on forever, it actually didn't. It does pass eventually, although it's really hard and does wear you down as you are constantly battling with it yourself at the time. We hate to upset our loved ones, and we feel guilty for telling 'white lies', BUT, if it consoles the person, even for a short while, in my opinion, it does no harm. A person with Dementia CANNOT reason with most complex answers, so it's best kept short and sweet.

    Hope this helps and your Mum xx
     

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