Had enough today.

[LadyA]

Just to sit alone with a coffee somewhere and look around the shops
Have good weekends all I won't say peaceful as forgotten what peace is xx

I remember that longing, and do hope you at least get your coffee! I remember one particular day, a friend of Williams volunteered to come with us to town and take William off for a potter around a new museum (William loved museums, pre-dementia), while I had a look around the shops and a coffee. I was very dubious, but he assured me he would manage - of course, he had only seen William in "visitor" mode! They set off, and I went and sat in a comfy armchair in a cafe with a cappucino and watched the world go by. Half an hour later, I got a frantic phone call - "We're here in the shopping centre. Didn't go too well. He's getting quite, um, upset, and just wants to go back to you." - so I went to meet them, to be greeted by tears of relief from William. He simply couldn't understand why he was being taken away - and why he had to walk so far (it wasn't far, but his ability to walk any distance out doors wasn't great). He was frightened of being in crowds without me. At least I had got my coffee - if not the browse around the shops!

 

[Marnie63]

Hope everyone is having an OK weekend. I too crave a few minutes/hours sitting alone, either at home, in a coffee shop or having a look round shops. Anything for a distraction or a break from the relentless, relentless routine! I also seem to spend more than a 'normal' amount of time sitting around in car parks! When I have the carer for a few hours, and I'm not working, and if I've bought and done everyone I've needed to, then I buy myself some lunch and a coffee and just sit in the car until it's time for me to go home and 'relieve' the carer. I often watch people and wonder what turmoil they may have in their lives, whether they've been through what I'm going through, but generally really envy them their freedom (though of course don't really know what their lives may really be like!).

Mum fairly settled today. I showered her last night and today promised her an outing, so we're off shortly for a little drive to a few shops. Thank God for the Blue Badge, as without that I'd never be able to get her to walk the car park distances from car to shop. I don't have carers at weekends, usually we stay in as shops, etc. are busier, but just need to get out today, even if just for a few hours.

Hope next week goes well for you Worrier and you manage to get your dad through the hospital visit and the windows/doors installation. Lavender - I can't image what it's like to have useless siblings as I'm an only child. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a few to help me with mum, but at others I'm a little grateful that it's just me. It sounds like you may have found a good home, so hope it works out well for you and your mum.

My new routine of putting mum to bed a little earlier so that I can have a bit of down time at night, and then getting myself up earlier so I can do the same in the mornings, before I get her up, seems to be working. I can feel the benefits of just that little extra time to myself in my own home!

 

[jorgieporgie]

Hi Everyone.
Rosy sorry your Mum isn't eating much but it could be the AB.s she as been on. It made me smile you doing the same route along the prom all the time, I use to do the same routes which Mum knew. At least it is lively and entertaining in Blackpool.
Worrier I hope the winds stop in time for your windows getting put in, if its anything like it is here its blowing a gale.
Lavender big hugs to you, I don't think I would even want your Sisters opinion about the NH. you have done just fine on your own this long.
Molly hope your having a peaceful day with your Mum x
Marnie hope your a lot better and the cold as finally gone. Harryd thinking about you, hope your ok.
Been shopping now staying in its freezing here. Tonight Pjs, wine and TV me thinks

 

[WORRIER123]

Marnie same here. Long for dad to go to bed early so I get me time then put my alarm on early so I get me time before he wakes
Dad's been up and down today sitting up then slouched pleasant then agitated
Eating so much then I say have you had enough he says no so eats more or says he doesn't know if he has had enough.
Typically this evening he's saying aren't you going out ? If I had been he'd be pulling a face
Hope you are all ok x

 

[HillyBilly]

I also seem to spend more than a 'normal' amount of time sitting around in car parks! When I have the carer for a few hours, and I'm not working, and if I've bought and done everyone I've needed to, then I buy myself some lunch and a coffee and just sit in the car until it's time for me to go home and 'relieve' the carer. I often watch people and wonder what turmoil they may have in their lives, whether they've been through what I'm going through, but generally really envy them their freedom (though of course don't really know what their lives may really be like!).

Aw Marnie x

 

[Lavender45]

Evening all.

Little sis replied to my text of yesterday this morning but didn't actually commit to viewing the home. She was meant to be visiting mum, but was letting me know something else had come up so she wasn't going to visit. The only reason I tried to get her to look at the home is so she cannot complain she doesn't like it afterwards, assuming mum goes there.

I went in to see mum otherwise she'd have no visitors all weekend. Sunday buses are rubbish.

Anyway I went in to see mum and she wasn't at her best. She was endlessly demanding to come home and crying and when neither approach worked she tried a bit of bullying.

The unit which is closest to our home was closed when mum was sectioned which meant that mum had to be placed in the unit she's currently in. The nearby unit is now being reopened following work needed to meet CQC standards and they plan to move mum across. I questioned the move as it will unsettle her. I would prefer she stayed where she is until she's ready to move to a nursing home. This extra move won't help her in my view, but it's happening.

Staff from the unit mum will be moving to were in the ward getting to know the 4 patients who are moving early next week. The stupid thing in my opinion is that they told mum she's moving nest week. No wonder she was distressed today. They have a policy of telling the truth. Sometimes the truth is the last thing my mum needs to hear. It's no wonder I was faced with tears and tantrums. She must be so worried. She didn't need to know she was moving until it was happening in my opinion!

 

[jorgieporgie]

Oh Lavender your poor Mum and you. Fancy telling her I sometimes thing professionals do not understand PWD as much as their carers.
One good thing it will be nearer for your visits. I hope they get a move on and get her into a NH soon to settle her. Big hugs to you xx
Worrier how are you today, looking forward to the windows been replaced tomorrow. Its still freezing and windy here hope its not to bad at your end.
Molly big hugs hope your well x
Rosy, Marnie, Hillybilly hope your day is calm and anyone I have not mentioned.xx

 

[LadyA]

Storm Ewan has been and gone. Horrible wind from very early this morning - I've not been out.

Lavender, consider the staff who thought it wise to tell your mum she's got to move to an unknown destination (to her) next week, cyber slapped! If they're working in a nursing home, wouldn't you think they'd have had more sense!

Sent from my Moto G Play using Talking Point mobile app

 

[WORRIER123]

Yes Jorgie tomorrow is window day. 12 windows and a front and back door. Not sure what to expect but dad wanted it done before he went into hospital so .... I am more concerned about tuesdays X-ray. Not the results just getting him there and back.
Not sure what will happen. GP said still fluid there so X-ray. Not sure what then the X-ray is to show. Maybe how much and then how to deal with it.
Hope you are all ok today ladies. Poor mum Lavendar.... and Marnie rant away. Molly Hilly Billy Rosy Harry's D Lady A and all hope it's been a non eventful weekend. Dad's been sleeping a lot and agitated at times then calm but eating loads xx

 

[Marnie63]

I managed to watch a film last night on TV, haven't done that in ages. Had a light bulb moment and put subtitles on, so no need for volume. Why didn't I think of that before!? Not been out today. Mum's diarrhoea is back. Seems like she has some form of IBS now as we have frequent variations on the toilet front. That's all we need, hope it settles down. Hope you've all had a decent Sunday.

 

[HillyBilly]

Storm Ewan has been and gone. Horrible wind from very early this morning - I've not been out.

Ah - this one had a name too! Hadn't heard it mentioned on the weather. It was bad here this morning, so vile that we didn't get up until lunchtime.

 

[HillyBilly]

Staff from the unit mum will be moving to were in the ward getting to know the 4 patients who are moving early next week. The stupid thing in my opinion is that they told mum she's moving nest week. No wonder she was distressed today. They have a policy of telling the truth. Sometimes the truth is the last thing my mum needs to hear. It's no wonder I was faced with tears and tantrums. She must be so worried. She didn't need to know she was moving until it was happening in my opinion!

That's just totally Your poor Mum. Let's hope she forgets soon enough.

 

[LadyA]

Ah - this one had a name too! Hadn't heard it mentioned on the weather. It was bad here this morning, so vile that we didn't get up until lunchtime.

Somehow, it wasn't mentioned on met eireann, but I saw on the internet news that they'd issued a weather warning for the south coast, because of Storm Ewan.

Sent from my Moto G Play using Talking Point mobile app

 

[MollyD]

Lavender, that's both annoying and upsetting, not to mention copless. I do hope your mum forgets again quickly.

Sorry things are 'tense' between your sister and you. I asked my brother to view this NH mum is in too. He declined but gave his support. I know why you asked, lest you're criticized for making poor, unilateral decisions. You won't make those and you've now covered your back. Shame it's like that, you need moral support at the very least. Warm hugs x

Good luck with the journey to and from the xray with your dad, Worrier. Also with the window installation. God, you've a lot on. X

Hi everyone, HD, Marnie, HB and rosy. Hope yoy have an uneventful evening x

LadyA. So that's what it was, Storm Ewan! No warning here either but we had a rotten night and day.

Jorgie (((hugs))) xxx

Night all x

 

[jorgieporgie]

Hope Everyone is ok today.
Worrier have got the windows started yet and if so how is your Dad with it. Probably enjoying the company I hope.
Molly big hugs, hope your day goes smooth. xxx
Lavender hope your having a good day x
Rosy enjoy singing with the brain if you have managed to get there.
Not very good weather here again, may stay in nice and warm, I am going out tomorrow to get my hair done so have to venture out tomorrow.

 

[Lavender45]

Evening all.

Mum was transferred to the new unit this morning. I rang and checked how things were before visiting. They said mum was having lunch and had settled really well.

I went in this afternoon to be met with tears and pleadings to take her home. Once the staff were out of sight the nastiness arrived. Mum demanded I take her home the tone of voice was downright unpleasant and she wasnt taking no for an answer. She decided she was discharging herself and her temper started to rise. The minute a member of staff came close the tone and facial expression totally changed. How she can switch into hostess mode amazes me.

One of the team showed me around the ward. It's very nice. Mums room is nice as is her en suite shower room. It's 15 minutes or so walk away from home so very convenient for visiting (other unit was an hour there and more coming home as there was always more traffic), yet I wish she were still in original unit as she is so confused and distressed by the move.

I'm not going back in until Wednesday. I'm hoping she's a bit more settled by then. X

 

[rosy18]

Evening all.

Mum was transferred to the new unit this morning. I rang and checked how things were before visiting. They said mum was having lunch and had settled really well.

I went in this afternoon to be met with tears and pleadings to take her home. Once the staff were out of sight the nastiness arrived. Mum demanded I take her home the tone of voice was downright unpleasant and she wasnt taking no for an answer. She decided she was discharging herself and her temper started to rise. The minute a member of staff came close the tone and facial expression totally changed. How she can switch into hostess mode amazes me.

One of the team showed me around the ward. It's very nice. Mums room is nice as is her en suite shower room. It's 15 minutes or so walk away from home so very convenient for visiting (other unit was an hour there and more coming home as there was always more traffic), yet I wish she were still in original unit as she is so confused and distressed by the move.

I'm not going back in until Wednesday. I'm hoping she's a bit more settled by then. X

Thinking your right to leave it a day before visiting your Mum Lavender let her feel more settled Must have been awful for you and so frustrating that your Mum can play the hostess mode to Osca winning level How do they do that always amazes me. Hope Wednesday is a better visit for you xx

 

[rosy18]

Hope everyone is having a peaceful night and I hope you've not been too cold at home today Worrier and your Dad was ok with the intrusion.Hope all goes well at hospital tomorrow xx

Had no singing for the brain today as the music teacher was off back packing in Wales Mum hasn't realised but I really missed it.Tried to get Mum singing the songs this morning but was told to be quiet and not to disturb all these other people who now reside in our house

 

[jorgieporgie]

Morning All,
Rosy sorry you missed your day out yesterday. I know what its like to look forward to a day out.
Lavender you do right keeping away and letting your Mum settle, hope tomorrow is a better visit.x
Molly hope your getting spoilt
Worrier let us know how the hospital visit went, hope it was ok and not upset your Dad to much. He as a lot going on this week what with the windows. x
Going to get my hair cut today, may look a bit more civilised.
Pop in later, have a good day xxx

 

[Pollytickle]

My aunt - Mum's sister - used to talk about all these people in her house; took us a while to realise it was her mental confusion as we lived two hours away by car

I could have easily walked away yesterday She asks a question, I give an answer & wham! The 'disagreements' begin ... Every day... And it's my fault because I "always lie". ..they are not her clothes...this isn't her home...phone her husband to come & pick her up to go home...every day...relentless

And today is a new day...