Ground floor flat

[fairy62]

My lovely husband has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, he is only 62 . I’m hoping someone can help . we live in a ground floor flat , we used to live in a house with stairs due to him falling twice down the stairs backwards may I add ! I decided it was time to move . He has bad mobility problems . The question I want to ask is ?
how do I tell him we have no stairs ? That he thinks we have extra rooms .He is always talking about upstairs and downstairs , I even open the door to show him but then he gets angry with me .

 

[Louise7]

A change in environment can be very confusing for those with dementia but it's best not to keep telling your husband that there are no stairs. As you have experienced, this just makes him angry so the best thing to do is to agree with him rather than try to reason with him as this will just be frustrating for both of you. If you haven't already seen it, this thread about compassionate communication may be helpful: https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @fairy62

Is your husband searching for the stairs or just talking about upstairs and downstairs?

Could you distract him by saying `its cold up there` or something similar.

Is he searching for other rooms?

Compassionate Communication as suggested by @Louise7 offers a lot of good pointers and I hope it helps you.

We moved house just a year or two before my husband`s diagnosis and he became disorientated.

His confusion took him back to when he lived in bed sits in his 20s. He worried there was no bed for him in our living room, he thought there were others living in the house and wanted locks on all the inside doors to keep him safe.

Your husband may be going further back in time than the house you have just left.

 

[jenniferjean]

We moved into a flat last March but luckily I haven't had to deal with what you are having to deal with. My husband has never looked for the stairs. However we do have a cupboard which goes under the stairs that lead to the flat above us, which I have explained the shape of to my husband. Maybe that is why he has accepted it. He doesn't seem to remember the house we had before we moved. He seems to have just accepted where we are, although he does have trouble finding his way around. Such as going into the bathroom when I ask him to put something in the kitchen.

 

[fairy62]

Thank you for the reply and you may have just helped me in a way

 

[Vitesse]

I’ve learnt that trying to be rational with my husband when he gets an idea in his head, is a waste of time and effort. Unless it really is necessary, I just try and agree with anything he comes up with!!! So unless your OH is really distressed about the stairs etc, just nod and smile!!!