My grandma has had dementia for nearly 5 years now and is going into end of life stage. We have been extremely close since the day I was born 23 years ago. Throughout lockdown I couldn’t see her for 5 months as she is in a care home and because she is hard of hearing I couldn’t even talk to her on FaceTime or on the phone. I have now been able to see her a few times over the past couple of months albeit at a distance but yesterday was her birthday (she was 93) and seeing her really hit me hard that the dementia has completely taken over both hers and our lives and I don’t think she remembers who I am anymore. I am finding this really hard to deal with as I feel I am grieving my most loved whilst they are still present and the thought of grieving them all over again once they are gone is heartbreaking. I have felt like this for at least 4 years now and I have always tried to deal with it myself but now realising I cannot.