Great life this is!

[VonVee]

ok, where do I start,

At about 3.30 my aunt from reading, phoned me and said they were on there way to come and see us, as they’ve just been to a funeral in wareham, Im in Poole, and they thought they pop in to see Mum..

About 40 minuets later, they arrived.. I pre-warned them both, that she’s changed and wasn’t the same since the last time they saw her in March 2015’ and that it’s doubtful she’d know them both, but they are both big personalities and I’m a bit intimidated by them, and I end up feeling inferior by them both when they decend on us, my uncle is my mums brother, but she dos’nt know him, not really, anyway they stayed about an hour an a half and then left, but they didn’t leave without making there mark, and telling me what they thought I should do with Mum, and have I thought about a care home etc, like yeah yeah, it’s so easy to give an opinion, when you visit once in nearly 3 years, isn’t it.

Anyway, after they left, I made mums dinner, and I took it down, and literally within half an hour, her mood had changed from moderate, to nasty as balls, she accused me of telling stories, and called me a fat tart, and she said she no longer needs me, as I am dead to her! Now ok, as upsetting as this sounds, I am used to it, and more often then not, it’s normally a lot worse than that aswell.

Now I know, that mums current mood is brought on by the visit of her brother! At the end of the day, she dosnt know who any of us are, not anymore, but I can’t literally tell them not to come, can I, but I so wish I could, because really there visit today, which wasn’t planned, hasn’t don’t me any favours being her main carer, and now I have a very nasty 85 year old with sever dementia on my hands..

I really could of done without this,

but as least I can give thanks to the Russians for vodka!

 

[DollyBird16]

@VonVee
Grrrrr, those pesky relatives.
I’ve had some today telling me to pop a stair lift in, apparently you can easily get a second hand one. I thanked them for their assistance and like a child poked my youngest out when they left made me smile.
Then back to the wondering, moaning, crying, demanding illness, cos that is definitely not my gentle caring Mums behaviour.
X

 

[DollyBird16]

Oh in my nightly prayers I thank Italians for beer and New Zealand for wine! X

 

[gotanybiscuits?]

.....& in the morning she'll likely remember none of it?

Or have confused into an un-recognisable version of their visit?

Mexican beer here this week

 

[chickenlady]

Next time they ring to suggest an unplanned visit why not tell them you are just on your way out on a pre planned outing which your mother's been booked on for weeks, what a shame you'll have to see them another time. Either that or tell them she's just gone for a nap. Feed Mum a massive slug of vodka and when they arrive say oh yes she sleeps a lot these days. Hopefully they'll be less inclined to come back too soon.
Meanwhile why not try loud happy music to sing to when Mum gets in a black mood, see if she'll respond to happy emotions, her spiteful comments are possibly a reaction to your stress at the visit.
My Dad suddenly becomes fixated with his own Mother and when is she coming home, Dad is 90and his mother has been dead 40years but if I try to change the subject he won't have it he comes back to the same question over and over, instead I get him to play the keyboard or sing and it seems to break the loop of gloom.