Granny near end of life

[LittleRedBee]

Hi, I've recently come to accept that I think my granny has entered the later stages of her battle with dementia. She's been in a home since October 2016, and for the last 3 weeks she's had very little to eat (maybe a few mouthfuls) and the last week she has had very little to drink as well (maybe a couple sips). She's lost half a stone in 5 weeks, is very weak, when we saw her on Monday she was in bed and could barely open her eyes; saying very final things like apologising and thanking us for what we've done for her. Her speech is very slurred and it's very difficult to understand what she says. Her hands are very cold, and her care needs booklet does mention incontinence. She often asks for dead relatives, and the only thing she will ask about other than that is if she can go home, or if she can see our dog.
We are told by the carers today that she has had a bit more to eat and drink but whilst I don't believe they'd lie to us I am having a hard time believing it as was totally uninterested in drinking when we were there.

I actually live 200 miles away. My dad is a single dad that works full time and can only see her on the weekend. I feel so out of the loop a lot of the time. She basically raised me and I can't stop worrying about her condition. I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that she may not make it to Christmas if she doesn't eat or drink more but the slight improvement today makes me feel like I'm making it out to be worse than it is.

The carers are fantastic but are always very optimistic for our sake, especially me considering I'm still fairly young. I know everyone is different, but realistically is my granny entering the end of her life, and how much longer typically can someone with dementia last on little food and water considering this change was very sudden and drastic.
Thanks.

 

[lemonjuice]

As many will testify on here some people last for literally years suffering dysphagia (problems swallowing) and seeming to exist on little more than yoghurt and ice cream with days when they eat nothing at all , only then to start eating again. my mother being one of them.

Then there are others who lose weight dramatically and 'fade' very quickly.

That's the one certainty. 'ne 'never knows' and dementia has the ability to survive an awful lot.

Indeed I have just found out my mother's many 'near-death events' are called 'sine-waving death trajectory' , which if you're a mathematician will make perfect sense. She's been doing this for the past 3+ years.

 

[Izzy]

I'm so sorry to read of your and your gran's situation. It's so hard.

It can be such a roller coaster at this time. I know my own mum lasted a few weeks at the final part of her dementia journey but I also know that there are others who have lasted much longer.

It must be comforting to know that your gran has good carers.

Not much help but I wish you strength.

 

[Thania]

I think is very difficult to believe that a person can live with very little to eat and drink .
We are in the same situation. My mother in law is in hospital nearly 3 weeks ago, and she suddenly became very stress, with hallucinations, delusions, more tremors , stop eating and drinking for a day then is eating but very little each day. We been told is Lewy body dementia and they have changed antidepressant and she seems to be better but still doesn't eat much.

My husband is in hospital everyday and stop working. Despite doctors and nurses tell us she can live like this for weeks or months is difficult for us to accept, I am reading more and ore about to try to be prepare for the long months as I start o believe that this could last months and is affecting us . We have 3 years old twins and my husband hasn't been in holidays with us for nearly 2 years as her mum was very demanding and she was living on her own. Now she is in hospital , my husband goes everyday and think this is the last day he will see her alive.

We are her only family here, her sister live abroad.