Grandmother

[rungo]

Hello everyone. I’ve put off asking questions because it’s just too hard to talk about. I figure typing might be easier. My grandmother has been in care for Alzheimer’s for 7 years now. That’s when the forgetfulness really started to the point she couldn’t be by herself. She was able to move around on her own in her wheelchair. The last few years she’s been pretty much bed ridden. They would put her in her wheelchair on a pretty day sometimes but within the last year she’s strictly in bed. She can move her arms and grab things pretty good. She will carry on a conversation but it’s nothing pertaining to what you’re talking about. She hasn’t recognized me in years. Total incontinence and not able to chew her food. She’s not lost or gained any weight. Not skinny at all. I don’t want this to sound like it’s going to, but I was expecting just a huge downward spiral. My other grandmother lasted maybe 2 months after a fall and quick onset. She can’t sit up. Her speech is fine just “out there”. What stage does this sound like? I know every case is different. But her weight and speech (even though it’s “out there”) makes it seem like she’s not really getting worse. She’s 84. Just trying to make some sense out of this evil disease, if that’s possible.

 

[Gosling]

Hello @rungo and firstly welcome to this friendly and supportive forum. There is a wealth of shared experience of dementia to be found here, so I am glad you have found us. And pleased that you felt able to type here how you are feeling about things.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandmother. There is, as you say, no set timeframe or order of things with dementia. Every person is different as to what symptoms they develop and how fast or slowly is the decline. It must be so tough for you, and any other family members.
By what you say, I am assuming your Grandmother is in a care home setting. Do ask the manager and also her GP about your concerns as to how she actually is, and what stage they consider she is at.
Sadly, you will never make sense of this evil disease; it just takes the person over and the decline is inevitable. Horrible to watch for any loved one. Wishing you continued strength.