Does anyone else suffer this problem? My husband has a carer for 3 hours a week and I always go out. She never has a problem with him and either goes out for a walk and a cup of tea or sits and watches tele. As soon as she leaves he is walking up and down constantly, banging the table, snapping his fingers or clapping his hands. I feel that he is trying to wind me up but I know he isn’t. Do they behave differently with different people?. It is like he is on his best behaviour when I am not around.
Good as gold with the carer but not with me
- Thread starter Alison N
- Start date
He is probably in ‘host’ mode with the carer. This is where a superhuman effort can make them seem fine with an ‘official’ or stranger. However, the effort of maintaining that is so great that it exhausts the person, which is probably why you are getting the behavior you do later - which may be exhausting and exasperating for you!
My mum was the same, we had this wonderful sitter, who used to come while I got out to meet friends for lunch. Before she arrived mum would be horrible to me, but an absolute joy with the sitter and then when I returned I got all the fidgety and annoying stuff. Unfortunately over time, the sitter did start to get the feeling that my mum did not want her in our house.
